Bitten: Our Favorite Witches

Thursday, April 16, 2015 - 12:21

No doubt you've heard that werewolves aren't the only game in town in the second season of Bitten. Season Two has a woman's touch (and a right strong touch, at that) as witches are getting in on the action, bringing magic and intrigue to all the biting, eating and howling.

In honor of all the double, double, toil and trouble, we've stirred a strange brew of our personal favorite witches. Blessed be.

  1. Hermione Granger (Harry Potter series, 2001-2011)
    It's hard to believe it's been several years since the conclusion of Harry Potter's cinematic journey, and of all the series' dozens of beloved characters, we might miss our Muggle-born witch the most. Smart, feisty, stubborn, loyal, skilled with a wand and armed with more spells than you can shake a broomstick at — that's our Hermione.


     
  2. Nancy Downs (The Craft, 1996)
    Fairuza Balk was born to play the part of Nancy Downs, a high school outcast who dances a little too close to the devil, unleashing her misfit fury upon those who have scorned and rejected her. We last see Nancy chained up in a loony bin, insisting that she can fly — and, for a while, she could.


     
  3. The Wicked Witch of the West (The Wizard of Oz, 1939)
    Before she was reinvented as a misunderstood tragic figure in the hit fantasy novel turned hit Broadway musical, Wicked, the Wicked Witch of the West was an unapologetically evil and terrifying figure, quick with a threat and a cackle and backed by an army of equally terrifying flying monkeys. "I'll get you, my pretty - and your little dog, too!" The stuff of nightmares.


     
  4. Willow Rosenberg (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, 1997-2003)
    We miss Willow almost as much as we miss Hermione. The sweet heart and soul of Buffy the Vampire Slayer (except for the handful of times she went bad), Willow made even the most dire threats to Sunnydale seem surmountable with her kind nature, quick wit and arsenal of sweet spells.


     
  5. Misty Day (American Horror Story: Coven, 2013-2014)
    Lily Rabe's best character on AHS to date, the charmingly spacey Misty Day has the power to bring the dead back to life — she even resurrected herself after being burned at the stake! She's also the biggest Stevie Nicks fan of all time … and know what Stevie's really singing about in Fleetwood Mac's hit 1987 single, "Seven Wonders."


     
  6. Asa Vajda (Black Sunday, 1960)
    Arguably the best "witch movie" ever made, Black Sunday features a tour-de-force performance by Barbara Steele as Princess Asa, a witch condemned to death in 1630 Russia who swears to return from the grave to wreck her witchy vengeance … and as Princess Katia, her look-alike descendant she aims to possess after making good on her promise 200 years later. Full of witchy goodness (and badness!), this one.


     
  7. The Witch (Into the Woods, 2014)
    Disney's adaptation of Stephen Sondheim's beloved musical was predictably divisive, but pretty much everyone agreed that Meryl Streep brought her A-game and then some to the role of the blue-haired Witch, who tasks The Baker and The Baker's Wife with retrieving magical items in exchange for lifting the curse that plagues their family tree. Meryl really brings it with her rendition of "The Last Midnight," where the Witch renounces the world and everything in it. Chills!


     
  8. Alexandra Medford, Jane Spofford & Sukie Ridgemont (The Witches of Eastwick, 1987)
    Sculptress Alex (Cher), cellist Jane (Susan Sarandon) and writer Sukie (Michelle Pfeiffer) lament about the available suitors in their small New England coastal town, so they dabble in witchcraft to see if they can conjure the man of their dreams. And then Jack Nicholson rides into town, "just your average, horny little devil." Crass, crude, funny and hot, The Witches of Eastwick is Jack's movie all the way (of course), but the three awesome leading ladies steal it from him at every turn.


     
  9. The Witch (Conan the Barbarian, 1982)
    "Cross ... roooooaaaadddsss ..." Okay, confession time: The completely gonzo crazy hot bonkers nuts scene with The Witch is our all-time favorite scene in Conan the Barbarian (well, besides the orgy scene where James Earl Jones turns into a snake). And it's yours, too. Don't deny it.


     
  10. Felice (The Kiss, 1988)
    Now we're really letting our geek flag fly. The Kiss is a long-forgotten (if it was even remembered in the first place) '80s horror flick in which a jet-setting supermodel (the gorgeous Joanna Pacula) looks to pass on her witchy bloodline to her niece (Meredith Salenger), a ritual fulfilled by planting a big wet one on the lips. Find it on YouTube. So, so delicious. So, so silly.


     
  11. Evangeline Ernst (The Witches, 1990)
    For those not in the witchy know, Miss Evangeline Ernst is the Chairwoman of the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children, which is holding its annual conference at the Excelsior Hotel by the beach in Cornwall. For those on the inside track, Miss Ernst is actually the Grand High Witch, and the RSPCC is the (rather ironic) non-profit front for all of England's witches, who plan on destroying the country's children via distribution of Formula 86, a potion that turns anyone who drinks it into a mouse. We pretty much guarantee that writer Roald Dahl and illustrator Quentin Blake were picturing Anjelica Huston while they were conjuring the 1983 source novel of the same name.


     
  12. Louise Miller (Teen Witch, 1989)
    Louise Miller (Robyn Lively) is a sweet-natured high school nerd who gains powerful witchy abilities on her 16th birthday, thanks to an amulet given to her by the lady who played Tangina in Poltergeist. Just how strong is her brew? Well, not only does she become the most popular girl in school and win the adoration of the football captain, she's also able to make anybody -- anybody -- funky and hip. Top that, indeed.

Get your witch on with the two-episode Season Two premiere of Bitten tonight at 8/7c.