Elena and the Terrible, Horrible, Rotten, Very Bad Day

Wednesday, May 6, 2015 - 09:00

Wow, Elena really got put through the ringer in Episode 4. Actually, nothing boded well from the get-go, what with the episode being titled "Dead Meat" and all. Let's review just how hard a time our heroine had it as the most recent guest of Aleister's Happy House of Horrors.

  1. First she woke up and was strapped to some gurney and some crazy ginger was sticking cotton swabs and other crap in her mouth. And, for the record, this was a doctor's appointment she didn't make herself.


     
  2. Then Aleister put this crap on her neck, which means it's going to explode if she gets too close to that one tree we saw in Episode 1. Blech.


     
  3. From there, she woke up in some horrible cell, though she was soon shocked back into unconsciousness after kicking a hole in the wall. Bzzzzttt! Man.


     
  4. When she woke up, she was once again strapped to the gurney, with her only view being Nate Parker's body parts. Gross.


     
  5. From there, the crazy ginger — Dr. Sondra Bauer, for the record — commenced with performing painful experiments on her, like testing her tolerance for very high canine frequencies. Argh!


     
  6. Then she had some chicken. Okay, that wasn't so bad.


     
  7. Then she got shocked back into unconsciousness again, ‘cause that little brat Savannah told the guard, "The werewolf's bothering me." Way to go, Savannah. No one likes you now.


     
  8. Oh, then Elena was forced to fight another werewolf, in the hopes that she would turn into a wolf herself and thusly give Dr. Bauer the blood sample she needs. How humiliating.


     
  9. At least she soon after got a chance to get revenge on her shock-happy jailer. Almost as good as a chicken lunch!


     
  10. Whatever, though. Elena barely made it to high ground before some goon shot her with a damn dart chock full of some sort of cheap-ass knock-out juice.


     
  11. Then her would-be werewolf opponent's neck exploded … and, unfortunately, she was downwind.


     
  12. The end to this perfect day? She ended up turning into a wolf anyway, in order to save Rachel's life. A raw deal, top to bottom.

Hang in there, Elena!