The Blair Witch Project: Ten Lessons We Learned

Wednesday, September 14, 2016 - 07:00

There's more than just chills and thrills going on in The Blair Witch Project. There are profound life lessons to be learned in the tragic tale of Heather, Josh and Mike, lessons we've carried with us in the 17 (!) years since the film's release.

Heed these lessons below, and watch The Blair Witch Project on September 15 at 9/8c.

  1. Ingrid Was Right to Say "No!"

    Little Ingrid knows it's unwise to speak about the Blair Witch. She tries (and tries) to stop her mother from telling her terrifying tale, but to no avail. Was this what jinxed the journey of Heather, Josh and Mike?

  2. It's Actually Very Easy to Get Lost in America

    Heather was wrong. So, so wrong.

  3. If You Suddenly Come Across an Old House, DO NOT ENTER.

    Especially in the woods, and in the dark. Come on, Mike.

  4. It Is So Not Cool to Kick a Map Into a Creek

    Worthless shmerthless. Come on, Mike.

  5. Scooby-Doo Is Still Relevant

    Lines like "You damn fool kids will never learn" bring back memories of Scoob and the gang. Too bad Heather, Josh and Mike couldn't find their Mystery Machine.

  6. Always Bring Kleenex

    Poor Heather. Did she ever dream that her snot and tears would make for one of the most iconic horror images of all time?

  7. Teeth Wearables Are Hot

    Josh knows how to work that tooth necklace. Later, he gets his own teeth torn out. Full circle!

  8. Crafting Can Be Terrifying

    Arts and crafts ... from Hell!

  9. Just Don't Go Into the Woods Ever

    But, again, these damn fool kids will never learn, as evidenced by Blair Witch, opening September 16.

  10. Buddy Hackett Got Involved

    Or something. It's kind of hard to explain. Just watch.