Olympus Episodes

Season

1

Episode

4

Minos

Two sons and their mother, out hunting birds, run into the hooded lady Magus (the one from last episode, who killed Hero's mom), who asks all crazy-eyes where their mother is before stabbing one of the brothers. She makes short work of the other when he comes rushing towards her, too, and tells their keening mother, "I wanted to get your attention." Maybe a muffin basket next time? Hero rescued the mother from Cyclops; Lady Magus wants to know where he and Oracle went. Mom is too busy getting hysterical to answer, so Lady Magus kills her too. Her information-gathering techniques could use some tweaking.

Oracle and the others weren't rounded up by other Magi; it was Minoan soldiers. Oracle's having to explain to King Minos that she doesn't know how Daedalus happened to fall on her and Hero, and they're not Athenian spies. Minos' handmaiden, Ariadne, fondles Oracle while Minos says that, since oracles must be virgins, she'll be presenting that "gift" to him that night, while Hero "watches" from the spike his head will be on. Oracle protests, in vain, but Ariadne suggests interrogating Hero first before separating him from his head.

Speaking of heads, Daedalus is tied up outside Minos' tent with his head in a box. Minos comes out to accuse Daedalus through the hole in the box of "defecting." Daedalus is baffled: what Athenian spy? What defection? He babbles that he was en route to demonstrate his flying machine, but Minos is over it, and leaves Daedalus to the guards, who insert a ball of bees into the box and close the flap.

Lykos is entreating Pallas and the generals to ask their allies for help when Aegeus blusters in to holler that "Athenians don't beg!" What's Lykos still doing there, anyways? Pallas notes that Lykos has proved a great tactician, but Aegeus is all "guts means glory, Aegeus SMASH" and chokes out Proteus when he says a daytime charge will get everyone killed. Proteus says it'll lead to mutiny, then passes out. Aegeus spits at the others to get ready for a fight tomorrow. Awkward!

Medea is giving Cyrus the business for thinking Oracle and Hero just happened to run into Daedalus. Does he also think it's a coinky-dink that they're in the Minoan camp right now? Cyrus assumed the Minoan guards were tracking Daedalus, and did he mention he's not totally sure Hero even found the Ring? Cut from Medea asking what Hero looks like…

…to Hero squirming as Ariadne rambles on and on about the small snake hissing right above Hero's restraints and how long it takes to eat. Can't be longer than it's taking her to get to the point, which is that the guard is going to cut a hole in Hero's side and insert the snake. Gross. He swears he's not a spy, but Ariadne won't believe him until he's in unspeakable pain. While she's torturing him (and us) by taking forever to poke him with her scalpel, Hero's sneaking a long sharp spoke off of Ariadne's necklace and using it to pick his restraints. He slashes the guard and puts Ariadne's scalpel to her throat to ward off the others who've come in to see about the commotion. Ariadne says he's making a big mistake messing with the King's daughter. She's his daughter? Boundaries, Minoans, blech. Ariadne grabs Hero's junk and pants that he's "bold" while the guards make "o…kay?" faces. When she knows he won't cut her, she wriggles free, but tells the guards to back off: "I'm not done with him yet." 

Lykos urges Medea to change Aegeus's mind about the attack, implying he's clinically insane and saying outright it's suicidal -- not to mention that their own men will turn on them before they even open the gates. Medea assents, but in return, she'll need Lykos to use his strategy to help her kidnap Hero. Lykos dispatches a spy to find Hero (who he doesn't know is actually his half-brother), and tells a worried Kimon nobody can know about it.

Ariadne introduces a bee-stung and blind Daedalus to his new intern, Thybus. Thybus will serve as his eyes while Daedalus makes it up to Minos by building an awesome new war machine.

Medea unveils a plate of ox heart for Aegeus, who's like, oh hell no, but Medea says he'll insult Ares and Athena if he doesn't eat it. She brings in a moon priestess to bathe him in the sacrificial ox's urine -- gross! -- which he's also not keen on, and cuts into the heart, then pretends to find an omen in the blood predicting that he'll die horribly and disgrace his name. The only way around it is for Aegeus to have sex with the priestess all night and offer his "milk" to Athena while postponing the battle 'til the next full moon. Aegeus, who clearly is easier to fool than most toddlers, agrees to this. Medea goes to inform the generals while rolling her eyes.

In the forest outside town, a Minoan sentry is relieving himself against a tree when Lykos' spy strangles him and steals his uniform. Meanwhile, Kimon is reporting to Pallas that he knows Lykos contracted the spy, but can't find out what for.

In their respective tents, Minos and Ariadne croon at their respective captives Oracle and Hero that they're fortunate to go to their deaths having Done It with the most powerful blah blah. Both our protagonists look revolted. Oracle stalls by talking about losing her gift, and would Minos like to see his future before robbing her of her ability? No dice: Minos doesn't believe in the gods, so she switches to flattering him on his reputation as a, uh, swordsman.

Ariadne purrs interminably at Hero, and lets him know the guards have left them alone so she can Red Shoe Diaries his fingers. As Oracle's pretending to get psyched about the experience, which is weirding Minos out, Ariadne asks if it's "her" that's turning Hero off and, hearing that it is (hee!), says she can play a man if he'd rather: "I have tools here." Wow. He's like, duh, I'm your prisoner, not your lover. "What's the difference?" Hero finally figures out that she wants it rough and ties her up with a tassel from the bed curtain.

Mission accomplished: Oracle's "vision" of recreating Leda and the swan with Minos has left him unable to perform. That's the humiliation in her vision, Oracle supposes, and uses visual cues around Minos' tent to "summon" other visions. He's impressed…

…and not a moment too soon, Ariadne is gagged with a plum and a leather strap. Hero's about to leave her tied to the bed and sneak out when two spear points push him back into the tent.

Daedalus has trouble working with Thybus, who in turn has trouble settling on an accent, and Pallas and Xerxes have trouble believing Lykos 1) found a Dorian to use as a spy and 2) isn't confiding in either of them or Kimon. They're worried about Medea's influence, and whether she knows they tried to kill her. Is she creating alliances with her enemies now that she knows someone almost lit her on fire? Enemies like…Minos?

She's definitely using a huge knife to cut a lock of Aegeus' beard while he's sleeping post-coitus. He jumps awake, too late to catch her at it, then has a weird discussion with the priestess about infusing his battle plans with Athena's love instead of wrath.

The spy uses a mirror to signal the palace. Medea spots the signal and asks Titan and Hades to set Hero on fire, or something. As an odd ray of sun beams down into Hero's underground cell, the spy sees it too and sets off towards it.

Ariadne's nonplussed to find Minos and Oracle snacking 'n' bonding. Oracle guesses Hero tied her up, but advises Ariadne to let Hero go. He's not an Athenian spy, just a bozo who killed Cyclops and got himself cursed…and anyone who harms Hero in any way "inherits his shame." Ariadne snorts that she's not buying it, which means she's worried, but Oracle urges them again to cast him out for their own safety. Minos wants Oracle to go back to interpreting his dreams, and would prefer to solve the problem with Hero's head on a pike.

Thybus and Daedalus test a jack-in-the-box catapult device, successfully; cut to a similar box dropping into Hero's cell, shooting a rope up through the grate as Thybus and Daedalus look on proudly. Hero clambers out of the hole as Thybus, unaware that Daedalus knows him, narrates that he's out, but apprehended by a guard. He drags Daedalus away, protesting, as the "guard" -- actually the spy -- takes Hero into custody. Only for a minute; when Hero and the spy have to fight real Minoan sentries, they win, but Hero disappears.

Oracle soothes Minos to sleep with dream interpretation, then starts to sneak out, only to run into Hero in Minoan drag. She's thrilled he's okay, but he soon buzzkills that she's not coming with him to Athens, it's too dangerous. She can look after herself, she snips -- better than he can, from what we've seen -- but he sniffs that she should stay with her lover. Oracle objects to that characterization, but Hero's like, whatever, hand over the Ring. She implies that she's hidden it…where the tampons play, and he's like, don't make me come after it.

Medea tries to find a way to spin Hero's arrival in Aegeus' favor, as a savior Aegeus has brought to the people.

Daedalus strokes Icarus's lost feather. Lykos broods. Aegeus dozes. The Magus approaches the city.