Futurama Episodes

Season

2

Episode

14

How Hermes Requisitioned His Groove Back

Hermes receives a letter from the Central Bureaucracy division, notifying him of an inspection on the following day. He believes his filing systems are so engorged, he is virtually assured of a promotion. As Hermes leaves for the day, Leela invites him to participate in a poker game with her friends. Hermes passes and heads off. Shortly thereafter, Ipji, Lew and Terry join Bender, Leela, Zoidberg and Fry in the Planet Express lounge, where the poker game gets underway.

The others grow suspicious when Bender wins and wins big. Ipji demands to examine the clunky pair of glasses Bender donned at the beginning of the game. He rips the glasses off the robot’s face, and upon examining them, realizes they are x-ray specs. Ipji, Lew and Terry chase Bender into Hermes’ office, where a fight ensues.

When Hermes arrives at work the following morning, he discovers that his office has been destroyed. Suddenly, the inspector, Morgan Proctor, a prim, bespectacled woman, enters. A surprisingly calm Hermes escorts her into his office. Moments later, he makes his way to the balcony atop the Planet Express building and threatens to jump. Morgan talks Hermes out of killing himself by reminding him that failure to file a suicide permit will lead to a posthumous demotion. When Hermes comes to his senses, Zoidberg recommends a stay on Spa 5, a sauna planet.

Meanwhile, the anal Morgan inspects everyone’s lockers, and reacts with disgust at what she sees inside Fry’s. After the others leave the locker room, Morgan locks the door so she can speak with Fry in private. But instead of scolding him for his filthy habits, she removes her glasses and kisses him. It soon becomes apparent that for Morgan, extreme sloppiness is a complete turn-on.

While Hermes is vacationing with his wife on the sauna planet, Morgan demotes most of the staff, with the exception of Fry, whom she promotes to Executive Delivery Boy. One night, Morgan shows up at Fry’s apartment unexpectedly. She informs him that Bender isn’t likely to show up anytime soon, as she assigned him a meaningless task to keep him out of the apartment.

Later, Bender catches Fry and Morgan in bed together. The next day, as Bender prepares to tell the others about the affair, Morgan slips a screwdriver-type device into the back of his head, causing a disk to eject from a nearby slot. Morgan tells Fry their secret is safe, as she downloaded the files from Bender’s brain. She then drops the disk into a mail canister and places it in a pneumatic tube. Moments later, it is whisked away.

Fry grows enraged, and demands the return of his friend. The staff members learn of the affair between Fry and Morgan. They agree that they must infiltrate the Central bureaucracy and find the robot’s disk. Meanwhile, on Spa 5, Hermes and LaBarbara are reduced to manual labor with a pick axe. Hermes notices the inefficiency of the system and brings this to a trainer’s attention.

Back at Central Bureaucracy, Fry and the others manage to slip by the endless stream of bureaucrats until they come upon the central filing room. They react with shock when their eyes see an enormous mountain piled in the center of the room. Help arrives in the form of Hermes, whose experience at the forced-labor spa rekindled his lifelong love of all things bureaucracy.

He tells the all-powerful Number 1.0 that he must locate the disk containing his friend’s brain. Number 1.0 approves the request…but warns Hermes that his license will be revoked if he fails to sort the master in-pile in four minutes. Singing to calypso music, Hermes springs into action and sorts the pile with two seconds to spare.

At the bottom of the pile is the disk, which he reinstalls. Bender is soon back to his old self. Hermes then notes the existence of a form, filled out by Morgan, which is improperly stamped. Number 1.0 rewards Hermes by promoting him.