Ball and Chain

Aging is supposed to be a beautiful thing-something that takes place over time with elegance and grace. However for Phil, Joe and Duke, the aging experience became the complete opposite.

Tucked under a blanket on an abandoned boat lies Phil Reiser, a very old and very dead city poacher with no form of identification other than an elaborate tattoo on his forearm. According to Haven records, Phil was in his 30s at the time of death and had no traces of poison or controlled substances in his body. Ironically, the tests show that Phil died a week ago of old age (Don't worry, we had the same confused look). Later at the tennis court, Audrey and Nathan get a visit from Joe Campbell who is also a 30 year old poacher. But Joe now looked 80 and died right in front of them, seemingly from "old" age (very strange!).

Soon after, Duke tries to put the moves on Audrey by inviting her to dinner at the re-opening of his new restaurant, The Grey Gull. Of course, Audrey stands him up for her job and as a result, Duke turns to another woman to soften the blow of rejection. Helena, a frequent visitor of the restaurant, is Duke's "date" for the night but in the morning she disappears —leaving him feeling old and sore (gasp!). Suddenly, Duke ages nearly 50 years and his body begins to shut down. And of course, Helena, the age-bandit of Haven, is nowhere to be found.

After searching through Helena's records Nathan and Audrey discover that Beatrice (Haven's Harbor Master) is related to her …sort of. Audrey and Nathan learn that every Friday night Beatrice morphs into a gorgeous young woman by the name of Helena, who is [drum roll please] her dead cousin. She then goes around town to find one man to sleep with and by Saturday she miraculously becomes 9 months pregnant. That same day, the men simultaneously begin to age just as quickly and by Sunday Beatrice/Helen gives birth.

In a gravely ironic twist, the men Beatrice/Helen sleeps with die as soon as she holds the baby in her arms. So after Beatrice gives birth to Duke's baby girl, Audrey quickly takes the infant away in order to save Duke, who's nearly dead. Duke is taken to the hospital where he fully recovers, but he can never see his baby girl in person, unless of course he wants to die at the ripe old age of 30 …