Let the Dark Times Roll
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Episode 5 picks up right where we left off – with Bo facing the Una Mens being told that she has officially thrown in her lot with the Dark. Considering the whole unaligned thing has been her shtick for 3 seasons now, Bo isn't willing to take this news lying down, and goes full-on succubus on the Una Mens. Unfortunately for her, this ancient council of magical elders are able to boomerang a Fae's powers back onto them, causing Bo to nearly suck herself dry! Oh my!
Cut to Plan B: Kenzi takes a number while Bo makes eyes with a seductive receptionist and awaits an audience with the current leadership of the Dark Fae. Number 69 is conveniently called and our girls stomp into the Morrigan's office ready to confront Vex, but it seems that Dark Fae leadership is just as unstable as the Light and an old friend is back on top.
Evony, disappointingly sans eye patch, is happy to officially welcome Bo into the fold with a Fae-eating-grin on her face, informing her that she has until the moon rises to prove that she hadn't willing pledged herself to the Dark. Before too many pleasantries can be exchanged, Bo and Kenzi are whisked to a Dark Fae soiree where the Morrigan has prepared a gift for Bo as a symbol of good faith - enter Lauren, bathed in sunshine. It isn't long before we're treated to a steamy Succubus-on-doctor necking session that is mercilessly interrupted by a cater-waiter who really should know better than to hawk mini quiches in the bathroom!
But we all know that gifts from the Morrigan are not given without conditions. In exchange for keeping Lauren her employee and under Dark Fae protection (while doubtlessly benefiting from her medical expertise) Evony asks Bo to track down and bring Vex into her custody. You see, the Una Mens have been cramping her style and the Mesmer is the final loose end to tie that will force them to leave in peace.
Meanwhile, Trick has been summoned by the Una Mens as they believe that his privileged position as the keep of neutral Fae territory has afforded him certain insights that may further their ends. As it turns out, the Una Mens were formed in response to the tumult that fell over the land during the rule of the Blood King. Fans will be quick to note that Trick is, in fact, that very same Blood King, but it seems that the Una Mens have not caught on to this yet. The Una Mens were formed when the leaders of various factions agreed to swallow a papyrus seed which would strip them of their emotion and souls in exchange for a cold commitment to non-partisan justice. The Blood King was meant to swallow a seed and join their ranks, but fled instead leaving their council incomplete for centuries, and they want Trick to help them find him…all while taking on the mantle of interim Ash.
Back at Evony's swanky Dark Fae gathering, Tamsin and Kenzi avail themselves of the complimentary nibbles at the sushi table. True to Evony's extravagant tastes and Hollywood swagger, the raw fish is served atop some serious raw beef – Bruce! The old lug's punishment for assisting Kenzi in her big escape last season is a bout of indentured servitude Dark Fae style.
After learning that another Fae can claim Bruce, Kenzi urges Tamsin to take him on as her burden so that the four of them can shack up in Bo and Kenzi's squatter's shanty. The Morrigan is delighted to hear this, and calls for a duel to the death for the honor of being Bruce's master. As the challenger, Tamsin is able to decide the terms, and it's time for a Dance Off…to the death. And when it comes to the dance moves that Kenzi and Tamsin bust out, seeing is believing, so feel free to stop reading and get watching! Pretty crazy, huh? Bet there are a ton of Ballerinas out there who'd like to dish out a dose of doubt to the competition.
Anyway, Bo and Lauren have retrieved the Scimitar of Kronos, which Vex intends to use to cut off his Una-Mens-infected-hand, enabling him to flee outside of their territory. This leads to a scuffle which results in Bo waking up chained to Vex's bed while he prepares an anesthetic potion for the procedure. Despite his typically jaunty posturing, this is a pretty big deal for Vex who watched his entire race starve to death after having their fists lopped off – Mesmers feed through their palms after all. He rationalizes that he's rather live free with one hand than die at the hands of the Una Mens.
The deed is done and Bo returns to the Morrigan empty handed, or rather with one surplus hand, but no Vex in sight. Unimpressed with Bo's delivery, Evony reveals her errand to have been a wild goose chase. The moon has risen and Bo is officially one of the Dark. But Bo is not without a final card to play. As a parting gift, Vex tipped Bo off to the existence of the Dark Fae archivist who stores the signatures of every Dark Fae and their sponsor in the layers of his scalp. Beaten at her own game, Evony summons the archivist and reveals that a hitherto unknown Fae named Reiner witness Bo's pledge of fealty.
But word travels fast in the Fae community, and the episode closes off of the dull voice of the Una Mens screaming "Reiner!"