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Bound and Crazy: 10 of the Most "Captivating" People in Movies

Wednesday, April 22, 2015 - 13:04

Olympus' Ariadne is crazy. So crazy that she ties Hero up and likes it (a lot) in a Rated R type of way. But we don't judge and besides, we kind of sympathize with the batty only child of King Minos. It's not as if she could have playdates with neighbors or partake in after school programs to keep her mind occupied. And so, the lone princess' behavior got us to thinking about other less than sane people in movies who kidnap the ones they love/admire/worship/stalk and hold them captive because they're lonely.  Here's a few (admittedly off the beaten path) theories as to why these folks are the tortured souls we've come to know, fear and in a weird way, feel sorry for.

DISCLAIMER: We at Syfy in NO way condone abuse or extreme violence of any kind against women, children or men, nor do we make light of it - this is just our way poking cheeky fun at loopy **CHARACTERS** in some well known movies.

Misery 1990

Poor Annie Wilkes. Let's bypass the fact that she's a murderous nurse and focus on how living alone in isolation (hiding?) with only the trysts of her favorite romance novel character, Misery Chastain, to keep her company would drive anybody (well, not most people) to rescue their favorite author from a horrific car wreck, nurse him back to health and then break both of his ankles with a sledge hammer; demanding that he write the story the way YOU want it to end. The writing was all she had, people and if you think any differently you are a dirty bird.

Flowers in the Attic 2014 (or 1987, pick your poison)

What if the real reason the grandmother locked her grandkids in the basement was because she was just misplacing her grief over the tragic loss of her son-in-law-who-was-also-her-son and felt she needed to protect them from the cruel, harsh world? Yeah, not likely. Also, given the grandmother hated that her son and daughter eventually become husband and wife (Yes, this happened) the whole trapping her grandson and granddaughter in the attic was counterproductive, because it just resulted in them knocking boots.

Boxing Helena 1993

Dr. Nick Cavanaugh loved Helena so much that he cut off all her limbs and held her captive. What, like you've NEVER had a hard time letting someone go? And besides, Dr. Cavanaugh spent a lot of time in medical school and probably had a hard time meeting people.

The Silence of the Lambs 1991

Buffalo Bill kidnapped women, held them captive, made them moisturize and then stole their skins NOT because he was mentally unstable but rather, because he aspired to be (future) Lady Gaga's style muse.

Hostel 2005

Perhaps "The Dutch Businessman" only touched Josh' leg on the train because he wanted to ask Josh if he worked out. Is it really his fault that Josh took it the wrong way?

Spider Man 2002

Maybe the Green Goblin just wanted to keep Mary Jane by his side because they coordinate so well. You know, the whole Christmas color scheme and all.

The Dark Knight 2008

The Joker saved his hostages and even dressed them up like his friends - not because he wanted them to be shot down by SWAT in a case of mistaken idenity but becuase he wanted to share his fashion sense with as many pals as possible.  

Black Snake Moan 2006

Let's take the chain out of the equation and gloss over the whole Lazarus trying to deliver Rae from evil thing and focus on the fact that there's people out there in the world like Lazarus who want us to be the BEST versions of ourselves. Oprah would approve.

Panic Room 2002

Jared Leto's character, Junior, may have inadvertently pushed Meg and Sarah Altman into hiding to spare them from the sight of his cornrows.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre 1974 & 2003

Leatherface is just misunderstood. Ever had a toy as a kid and want to show it off? You wave it around and around and around all wild and crazy not realizing that you can really hurt somebody or "take someone's head off" as your mother would say. See, Leatherface and his chainsaw - same thing. Maybe he's just excited and wants to show off his toy AND THAT'S WHY HE KINDAPS AND MURDERS TEENAGERS AND TAKES THEIR FACES.

Olympus' Ariadne hasn't killed anyone - yet. But there's a whole season ahead, so anything's possible!