Superstition Episodes





Uncle Bubba

Ah, finally, a day without a dead person, a pesky infernal, or meddling kids — Bea and Isaac are free to enjoy themselves (and each other) without interrupt— oh, hi, Uncle Bubba. Uncle Bubba is a superstition expert, as well as a fastidious tailor, and relative of Bea’s. What a combo! He drops into the Hastings’ place because he’s got a sticky situation on his hands. Somebody gave him a funky clock, and now he’s cursed. But more of that later.  

He starts to give Garvey's squeeze Russ a measuring job. Some plaids. Some pleats. The whole shebang. While Bubba steps into the other room, Russ and Garvey get to fiddling with the tailor's wacked clock. They touch it, and it makes them disappear. So, turns out, Bubba is an escapee from the local, friendly mental institution. He believes he was cursed by someone who gave him that evil clock. A spirit from inside the clock was released, and attached itself to him. Now, that same clock as Russ and Garvey. It's a whole thing.

The kids end up inside the clock. Literally inside it. Bubba is forced by Isaac to dish the real story, which goes like this: Bubba slept with the wife of a clockmaker named Tagert. He also took a loan from Tagert and didn't pay it back. So Tagert is right pissed. Tagert sent the clock as a “gift,” and here we are.

Meanwhile, inside the clock, Russ puts his hand on a chime to stifle the ringing, and maybe get out. He cuts it on the metal, and the blood seeps into the inner-workings of the clock, which subsequently glow. Interesting… Time isn't money: it's life.

Bea sets up a Ouija board on the clock's face to get the spirit to spell out its name. She does: it’s Agnes. The family tries to communicate with Agnes. But shortly after… Isaac and Bubba get sucked into the clock as well. Gosh, these men do not like each other, and now they're going to be stuck inside a clock?! Rich.

The Hastings get Tagert in their clutches, and Calvin threatens him with a knuckle sandwich unless he tells them how to get lost souls out of the clock unharmed. He's already eaten that day, and thus does not want any of Calvin's appetizer. So he complies. Inside the clock, Russ and Garvey find Agnes — the poltergeist spirit living inside the clock at Tagert’s behest. She is a very imposing, tall woman. She draws her energy from all the spirits that get trapped inside the clock. All 83 of them. Yup. It's a packed house.

After Agnes traps Garvey and Russ in a closet, separating them from Isaac and Bubba, Garvey has no choice but to work the magic angle. She breaks off a clock hand, and carves a rune in her skin. It works as a kind of all-access pass out of small spaces. Of course, the whole magic thing is major news to Russ. But it's not long that Russ and Garvey are safe. They're soon beset on all sides by things that could kill them — gears and sharp hands that Agnes has set in motion. Russ lets Garvey use him as a medium so that she can get the energy boost she needs to put an end to the flying death traps. It works!

But that little trick required a lot of energy and knocked Garvey out, so Russ has to carry her away. Agnes blocks their advance, and hurls a grandfather clock at them, knocking them out. When Garvey and Russ wake up, they’ve been affixed to giant clock hands ticking down the minutes they’ve got left to live. Agnes comes clean about her plan: she sought to trap Garvey inside the clock so as to lure Isaac in there as well and drain him of his immortality. Everyone is after Isaac's immortality.

Isaac and Bubba, meanwhile, split up. Isaac finds Russ and Garvey, and is about to set them free when Agnes surprises him, and shoves a pendulum through his body. She's intent on draining him of his life force! Meanwhile, May and Bea are busy reading the clock… and not for the time. Someone or something is transmitting them a message: to bring the clock to the Alchemy Room. Bubba was able to get the word out!

Inside the clock, Bubba goes about smashing littler clocks to release spirits locked inside them. This drains Agnes of her juice. Then, when Agnes is sufficiently weakened, Isaac is able to overpower her and knock her to the ground. Then Uncle Bubba draws a bolt of lightning that emanated from the Alchemy Room makes its way into the clock. Bubba grabs Isaac, Garvey and Russ, and uses the energy to transport them out of the clock. He’s been shocked so many times he’s practically immune from electrocution.

But Agnes ain't. Back in the not clock world, Uncle Bubba has had enough of all the hijinks, and wants to go back to the asylum. Bea offers to drive him. Will she and Isaac never find the time for nookie?! We can only hope….