Dead 7: Tearin' Up My Heart, Brains, and Limbs

Tuesday, April 5, 2016 - 15:43

Dead 7 came rocketing onto our screens and into our hearts this weekend with a 90s boyband sized bang! It's kind if like Hateful 8 were written by Nick Carter and produced by the same dudes as Sharknado. It's campy, it's gorey, it's all kinds of fun, and it has more boy band cameos than the 90s cinematic classic Longshot. It may not win as many acadmey awards as the Tarantino thriller, but we guarantee you'll get to see infinitely more boy band stars eat dirt by the end of the zombie shlock-fest. On board? Of course, you are, and as luck would have it you can watch the whole movie right here

But who are these mysterious 7? The seven heroes who will risk it all to rid the world of the deadly copperhead (basically zombies) threat? Let's get to know them:

 

1. Billy

Billy AKA Jeff Timmons is the kind of earnest hero that you'd want on your side when things heat up... like 98 degrees hot. He's good in a pinch and he's got a thing for Daisy Jane. He does ... cherish her.

2. Daisy Jane

Daisy Jane AKA Carrie Keagan is the femma fatale bad-ass who makes Billy look like a softy. She's totally got the hots for Billy, but she's still got some weird hang ups on Jack, but he's already given her all he has to give.

3. Whiskey Joe

Whiskey Joe AKA Joey Fatone. Here's what you need to know about Whiskey Joe: he drinks, whiskey, a lot of whiskey. Joe plays the role of recruiter, wrangling in the zombie-killing talent even though he said bye bye bye to sobriety long ago.

 

4. Vaquero

Vaquero AKA Howie D. Vaquero is the sharpshooter of the bunch. If we've learned anything about zombie flicks, it's that if you wear sunglasses it's because you're good with a rifle. If you want to be good, get yourself a bad boy, like Howie D.

5.Komodo

Komodo AKA Erik-Michael Estrada. You may ask yourself what a samurai sword-weilding badass is doing in the post apocalyptic future, but dude, did you ask yourself the same question when you first saw Michonne on Walking Dead? Exactly. Komodo want's those Copperheads dead. He's all or nothing.

6. Jack

Jack AKA Nick Carter. Did someone say leading man? With a fearsome smolder and Clint Eastwood-esque locks, ol' Nicky C is clearly the auteur of this Western. He left sweet Diasy Jane to be damaged goods while he went off on his own to "do him". But will his return mark the downfall of the Copperheads or the downfall of Daisy and Billy's relationship?

7. Sirene

Sirene AKA Lauren Kitt Carter. Sirene has a conneciton with nature that can only be truly realized with some seriously deep staring. Her connection to the cooperheads seems to be more closely tied to her sickle.