The Hangover sequel should be a source of good drunken-themed fun, even if they didn't take our suggestion to call it The Aspirin. But any sci-fi fan knows you can get your full dose of stumbling, hilariously inebriated characters from almost any classic science fiction movie or TV show.
Please note that we're not simply talking about iconic scenes that take place in bars. Rather, we are focusing on those extra-funny clips with characters who are three-sheets-to-the-wind, "Dude, where'd we park the Millennium Falcon?" hammered.
Here are 18 of our favorites.
Scotty Goes on a Bender With an Alien
Star Trek was on the forefront of shows with storylines that promoted racial harmony. Which is why it was so weird when they would lose their marbles and do something blatantly offensive. In this scene, the Scottish guy named "Scotty" shows how good he is at drinking. Thankfully, they didn't go full-tilt and have his drink of choice be "scotch." Our species is truly number one at chugging liquor. Take that, superior alien brains!
Peter Lorre Drinks-Off Against Vincent Price
Here, two giants of the screen show us exactly how to start the party at a wine-tasting contest. This yet again reminds us that a good screenwriter is able to scare the audience using only the characters' freaky mustaches.
Indiana Jones' Girl Wins Drinking Contest
Marion uses her drinking superpower several times in this film. Here, she wins what has to be the most boring sporting event of all time: watching two people take shots until one passes out. It's cool how this is portrayed as classy and sexy, when in fact a real woman who can take that many shots is just really scary.
Chuggin' Moonshine on the Red Dwarf
This hilarious scene features Rimmer and Lister discovering two bottles of illegal hooch right before inspection. They decide the best way to dispose of it is to pound it. We're not sure where they planned to hide the bottles (nor would we care to imagine).
All Work and No Play Makes Jack a Dull Boy
A ghost rises up, and all Jack can think to request from him is a bottle of bourbon. We guess it takes a simple man to live in a secluded hotel all winter without going crazy. Oh, wait.
Charlie and Hurley Try to Get Desmond Blackout Drunk on Lost
Oh, Scottish television characters: the next plot point is only one drink away. At 6:30, Charlie and Hurley want to find out why Desmond Hume can see the future. They give him lots of alcohol, which triggers a flashback for the viewers, which still doesn't really explain the clairvoyance. But, since it's Lost, we sure have a fun time confusing ourselves into madness.
Data Shows up to Work Plastered
Since Data had so much trouble understanding human nature and emotion, we were always waiting for an episode where he gets messed up. But we figured he'd probably get high and become one with humanity, or whatever. Instead he just gets wasted and wallows in the self-pity of not being mortal.
Doctor Who Makes a Freaky Scene
To be honest, to put up with the insane stuff that goes down around the Doctor requires a bit of a skewed mind. Here, the Doctor crashes into what appears to be a cross between 1800s British Parliament and the film Saw. Luckily, he's drunk, so everything makes sense to him (including the interior dimensions of the TARDIS, probably).
Drunk Nerd at the Kandy Bar
A great formula for teen film scenes in the 1980s was taking Anthony Michael Hall and getting him messed up. Anthony Michael Hall delighted fans by toking or drinking and then talking in a weird Kermit the Frog voice. Ah, the 1980s, when we all thought teen drug use was trivially hilarious.
Shaun of the Dead Zombie Karaoke
When you get drunk, you dull your senses. This can prevent you from noticing important things, such as the fact that killer dead bodies are roaming the town. This clip proves that, with hooch, mortal enemies like zombies and men can become singing buddies.
Gimli Passes Out Drunk
In this extended scene from the Return of the King, Gimli tries to prove that dwarves are the biggest functioning alcoholics in Middle-earth. However, this contest seems unfair, since Gimli's beard can hold gallons of liquor.
Futurama Drunk Dial
We could show you one of the dozens of clips of boozing 'bot Bender getting silly. However, instead we chose to show this clip from "Bender's Big Score," where he actually isn't the drunkest person in the scene, for once.
Buffy Want Beer!
Buffy has a hard life. First, there's that whole "high school" thing. Also, we hear she has to deal with vampires sometimes. To make things worse, she can't even relax with a cold one without turning into a violent Neanderthal. Honestly, we get it, we don't need Cave Buffy to beat us over the head with the metaphor like she's clubbing a mate.
Zefram and Deanna Get Tanked
One of the more memorable scenes in First Contact was this drunken bar exchange. As with all Star Trek drunk scenes, they have to insert a straight man: someone who responds to all this madness by pursing their lips and nagging everyone that they've just got to save the universe, or whatever.
Jin and Sawyer Get Wasted With Roger's Corpse
Lost was expert at making viewers feel bad for enjoying touching scenes. Here, for example, the men take a beer break despite living on an island full of scary dead stuff. Even though there's a dead body next to the beer, it's still lighthearted fun (for Lost, at least). Until we later learn that the skeleton next to the beer was a nasty, beer-swilling alcoholic who was murdered by his abused son. Great job making us feel bad for laughing, yet again, Lost. Zing.
Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster
It's the greatest drink in the universe, the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy wouldn't lie. Seriously, why mess around with all that annoying drinking, when you can just skip straight to the good part: passing out and waking up with a headache.
Kyle XY Pissed
Everyone's favorite pseudo-teen jumps on the bar and announces he is the result of a science experiment. The bar patrons seem nonplussed by this needless exposition. How come when the characters on Lost get drunk, they never jump up and share critical information with the rest of the group?
There's actually a plot to this Twilight Zone episode, "The Night of the Meek." But frankly, there doesn't have to be a plot: Just watching alcoholic Santa Claus trying to steal is enough to creep us out.
It's funny to note the mixed messages these clips send to young viewers about alcohol. On the one hand, many of these scenes portray booze as a detrimental obstacle to everyday success. On the other hand, people who have the ability to consume a truckload of booze seem to be portrayed as heroes in many sci-fi storylines. So we guess the moral is that young people shouldn't drink, unless they plan to make drinking their full-time hobby because they spend their whole lives on a boring spaceship.