Chosen One of the Day: Pao

Contributed by
Dec 19, 2016

If you haven’t seen Rogue One yet, don’t worry — I’m not going to post any spoilers. Also, hurry up and see it, because you have about five minutes left 'til people stop caring about spoiling it for you. 

Pao was the angry lizard-looking dude that’s part of Cassian’s crew of rogue rebels within the Rebellion. Pao doesn’t say much, or anything, really, but there is a pivotal moment in the film where this cold-blooded amphibian warmed my heart.  He ’s not a major character in Rogue One, but he goes to show that not everyone needs to be a second, third or any lead to make a major impact, or even get their very own action figure (which he does, thankyouverymuch. I saw it at Target this afternoon and it even has a movable jaw). There really isn't much info out there about Pao. I know he's a Drabata, and that he's a badass grunt that is understandably very at home in the mud. He also looks like his teeth are sharpened into little daggers, which I'm not mad at. Pao looks like that one vet that lives in your neighborhood that all the little kids are both scared and intrigued by. 

Look, these are dark times, and lizard people, both in other galaxies and our very own, get a bad rap thanks to people like Alex Jones. Pao is proof that sometimes those lizard people are on our side. They're not poisoning the water or part of some secret Illuminati with Beyonce that's trying to take over the world. No, they are loyal and brave and will fight 'til the death for your freedom from the evil Empire. Actually, now that I think about it, this may actually explain why that wacko Alex Jones hates lizard people.

Here's to you, Pao. May we all be half the man ... er, lizard? Lizard-man? you are.