What is your favorite thing about Labyrinth?
This is one of those questions that can define a life, so I want you to think about it really hard.
Is it Hoggle?
The little worm?
The infuriating lying doors?
Baby Waldo learning how much fun it is to get lost in a crowd of people dressed like their clothes were made by a middle-aged man who's reliving his high school goth phase?
Whatever your answer, you're wrong. How can I be so sure?
Because the best thing about Labyrinth is whatever the hell Jareth is doing with his hands and those fascinating transparent orbs throughout the entire film.
In odd places.
Saying strange things.
Occasionally making them float away as though they were actually just surprisingly weighty bubbles the whole time.
Does he use them to hypnotize young women into allowing him to steal their baby brothers and following him into his maze of wonder and surprise molestation by hundreds of disembodied hands?
How many times has he done this? Is he a serial Mesmer? Does he use different colors or sizes to accomplish different goals?
And perhaps the biggest question of them all: Did the guy who actually performed all the hand tricks in the movie write "did magic while hugging David Bowie" on his resume?