Chosen One Of the Day: Debbie Jellinsky, The Villainess of Addams Family Values

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Dec 20, 2017

Joan Cusack has made a career out of playing the quirky sidekick. Whether she's a malfunctioning robot sister, a real-talking working girl, or the bubbly bride-to-be of a closeted man, she's always an absolute ray of sunshine and glowing comedy goddess. But in 1993, she unleashed the full greatness of Joan Cusack in the undisputed greatest sequel of all time, Addams Family Values, where she portrayed Black Widow serial killer Debbie Jellinsky.

As Debbie, Cusack got to embrace a femme fatale fantasy, unleashing her sexual dynamo allure and deadly dark side in blinding white, lovingly curve-hugging, daringly low-cut dresses. 

Sure, Debbie was trying to kill Fester so the self-made widow might snatch up the Addams Family fortune. But you got admire a woman of ambition, right? Debbie knew who she was! She's not a Malibu Barbie. She was a Ballerina Barbie!

She knew what she wanted: parents who understood her, a husband who could buy her a new Mercedes, and would come home at night in time for lovemaking. But she also wanted the freedom to bang the occasional sailor. I mean, who among us, right?

Debbie was not just a maniacal serial killer with a penchant for slideshows. She was the avenging angel of the ignored wife, the shunted lover, and the misunderstood daughter. She was a woman who demanded to be worshipped. And if she couldn't be worshipped, she'd settle for being rich and infamous.

She was dangerous. She was deadly. She was divine.

We're all very sorry, Debbie. We wish you only the best.