donnie darko frank bunny rabbit

Chosen One of the Day: Frank from Donnie Darko

Contributed by
Apr 18, 2018

Ah, Donnie Darko. Like blue mascara and checkered Vans, we all had a Donnie Darko phase at some point in our misbegotten youths. And who could blame us? It seemed DEEP. It seemed IMPORTANT. Jake Gyllenhaal seemed GUH MY HEARTLOINS.

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But like so much of what we loved in college, many of us perhaps aged out of appreciating this film, or if you're like me, you watched the DVD commentary as well as the Richard Kelly director's cut and the film was ruined for you, like someone gave you a birthday gift, then took it back, set it on fire, and handed it back to you awaiting further gratitude. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, THE PILLS ARE PLACEBOS, THE MOVIE IS BAD NOW, YOU'RE WELCOME.

But the film's real jet engine to gut would be Frank. Y'all know Frank. The world's fluffiest third wheel.

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Frank is the mysterious rabbit ghost that appears to Donnie Darko and whispers creepy sh-t to him about date stamps and portals. He's cryptic for literally no reason, answering the totally normal question of "Why are you wearing that stupid bunny suit?" with "Why are you wearing that stupid man suit?" WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT, EVEN, YOU FAUX-DEEP POSER-ASS RABBIT? And then there's his response to Donnie asking why his name is Frank.

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That is a very flowery way of explaining that your name is Frank Jr. Jr. It's not that serious. Calm down.

Anyway, spoilers for Donnie Darko kind of (because honestly when you think about the movie it makes zero sense anyway), but Frank is actually Donnie's sister's boyfriend and he honks his car horn at the beginning to warn Donnie that a jet engine is about to fall on him except Frank is also the reason Donnie sleepwalked to the golf course and missed the jet engine and so Donnie has to go to a cellar door, get his girlfriend run over by Frank's car, shoot Frank in the eye with a gun for running over said girlfriend even though said girlfriend was lying in the middle of the road and I am sorry but that is not on Frank and the police would understand that, and then he has to sit and wait for his mom and sister to get into a plane crash so that the world can be right again and actually kill Donnie and also Patrick Swayze as a pedophile now gets away with it? I think? Also his pills are placebos?

I don't know, real talk, f-ck this movie, but Frank was pretty cool. And he has neat handwriting.

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