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Chosen One of the Day: Gus Gus from Cinderella

Contributed by
May 2, 2018

When it comes to the Disney classics, everyone has an opinion. Best song. Best villain. Best princess. Hottest prince. Beauty and the Beast: Does it take place in a time loop? As all regular FANGRRLS readers know, I am a very even-keeled person who never has a particularly strong opinion about much of anything, like whether Batman suffers from nether stink (HE DOES) or if Ellie Satler is a fashion icon (SHE IS) or more movies need sweaty Daniel Wu (THEY DO).

However, there is one hill I’m willing to die on, and that’s that Gus Gus from Cinderella is Disney's best animal sidekick.

I won’t lie—Gus Gus has lots of competition. Eighty-plus years of Disney features have gifted us with no shortage of animal sidekicks ready and willing to help out our heroes and/or keep various characters in check with sarcastic assholery. There are a great many icons to choose from. Iago from Aladdin: sassy jerk. Maximus from Tangled: JUDGING YOU. The chicken from Moana: Alan Tudyk. The girl squirrel from The Sword in the Stone: horny as hell. Etc. etc. etc. Don’t come at me in the comments for leaving your favorites out of the rundown—Mushu! Timon and Puumba! Jiminy Cricket!—because this Chosen One of the Day is about only THE best animal Disney sidekick, and that is Gus Gus.

Gus Gus has always been relatable to me because he’s frequently hungry, is high-strung, and is willing to fight a b*tch if he has to. Who among us? But the best thing about Gus Gus is that he is an aspirational figure. As a woman, I have been beset my entire life by unreasonable beauty standards foisted upon me by none other than THE PATRIARCHY. Notably: Your clothes must always be on point, and you should be no bigger than a size 6.

But take a look at Gus Gus. He's out here wearing an objectively stupid-ass hat, but does he care? No. He likes it! Screw you! Gus Gus is also possessed of some pudge, which he fearlessly exposes in a midriff-baring T-shirt that A) puts him ahead of the crop top trend by some 65-off years, and B) makes him an icon of body positivity—and, not for nothing, but of thumbing your nose at gender norms, too. 

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I’m insecure about my laugh. Is Gus Gus insecure about his laugh? No, and he has one weird-ass chortle. Gus Gus lives his best life, letting it all hang out, physically and spiritually. 

Gus Gus will fight a chicken 10x larger than him for a kernel of corn. If there were a bagel I really wanted to eat, and I had to fight an angry rhino to get it, would I? No, probably not. But I wish I could.

Gus Gus will square up if someone threatens his friends.

Gus Gus will never let anyone tell him to wear pants when he doesn’t want to.

#GusGusLife2018