Chosen One of the Day: Han Solo's chest hair in Solo: A Star Wars Story

Contributed by
Feb 9, 2018

Donald Glover and his blinding smile and his fancy capes aren’t the only reason to look forward to Solo: A Star Wars Story. They’re the major reasons, sure. But not the only reasons. We also have Thandie Newton and her space afro. Woody Harrelson… in…. spaaaaaaace! Mother of Dragons, caping it up. Finding out what in the hell Han Solo did to the Millennium Falcon. And, oh yeah, most importantly: Han Solo has chest hair.

The proof is in the Entertainment Weekly cover.

Enhance.

Beautiful chest scruff, I see you.

I don’t mean to make a bigger deal of this fairly minor filmmaking decision than it deserves, but Alden Ehrenreich not being made to wax his chest to play baby Han Solo has purified my soul to squeaky clean perfection. Disney did chest hair lovers of the world a solid. For once! Chris Evans as Captain America: waxed chest. Chadwick Boseman as Black Panther: waxed chest. Scruffalo weeps. This chest waxing thing promotes unrealistic beauty standards for men. Also, in the case of Charlie Cox as Daredevil, it’s a war crime. It would be a particularly weird choice for Han Solo, too, abrogating the character's '70s roots in favor of a more modern aesthetic that favors an unbroken expanse of baby-smooth skin over the glory and the power of God-given follicular brilliance.

Is Star Wars going to be the promised land for chest hair and its thirsty proponents?

We can only hope.

We already have Chewbacca.