Chosen One of the Day: Janet, the annoying girl in The Magic School Bus who almost got left on Pluto

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Sep 28, 2017

If you've ever seen a second of The Magic School Bus, whether as a kid or as a bored college student playing some kind of bizarre drinking game in your dorm room on a Saturday night, then you know there are a lot of places where you must suspend your disbelief.

For instance, you have to accept that the show's protagonist, Ms. Frizzle manages to maintain her teaching license despite the fact that she endangers her students on a regular basis.

In the very first episode of the series, Ms. Frizzle takes her students to space in a bus that is in no way airtight. 

I KNOW, it's MAGIC. It also has a face.

But perhaps the most unbelievable thing they ever did was NOT leave the most annoying character stranded on Pluto when they had the chance.

This is Janet, Arnold's cousin.

You can tell because he says so and because except for the glasses, the girly sleeves, and the big ass blue "J" on her shirt, they are basically identical.

Janet is also a know-it-all. She takes every opportunity to brag to the class about how much better HER science class is (drink every time she says MYYYY through her tiny animated nose) and talks about how she's got all As at HER school.

What exactly is the magnifying glass for? Sherlocking 101?

When Arnold finally convinces his identical cousin that his teacher is, in fact, way cooler than hers (just look at her iguana), Janet spends the entire field trip to space shopping in the Solar System gift shop, snagging every item she can from the surface of each planet. Rocks. It's mostly rocks. And ice.

She even jettisons Frizzle herself to the ENDS OF THE SOLAR SYSTEM, stranding the poor woman on Pluto (RIP, Pluto) and forcing the other students to search for their own teacher using only vague clues and a sentient vehicle.

Eventually, yes, they find Frizzle, but as they're getting ready to head home, they discover that not only has Janet stuffed the bus so full of crap that none of them will fit, but she refuses to leave without it. How else will anyone know she visited all these planets?

To his credit, Arnold never tells his cousin that she could take a selfie with a Martian and no one would ever believe she'd been to space. She doesn't even have a permission slip (again, HOW is Ms. Frizzle still employed?!). Instead, he tells her that THEY will always believe her because they were there. Because that's the lesson this show was out to teach children. You know, NOT to leave your cousin stranded on another planet just because she's a pain in the ass.