Chosen One of the Day: Jessica Jones' many, many bottles of whiskey

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Aug 8, 2017

Jessica Jones doesn’t have a lot of friends, but there’s a few: the potential Hellcat known as Patsy “Trish” Walker, Malcolm with his will-they-or-won’t-they love affair with heroin, and of course there’s Luke Cage who, let’s face it, at best is currently "on the fence."

Of all of those friends and sometimes lovers, do any of them have an episode of Jessica Jones named after them? They sure don’t. But you know who does? Her true companion. The one that is always there at her side no matter what.

That's right, I'm talking about whiskey. That throat-burning nectar of the gods that is ready and waiting for Jessica at the end of a hard day or night of bar fighting, to give her that small bit of comfort. It's her barrel-aged reward.

She doesn’t even have a preferred brand, and that doesn’t matter. Not to whiskey.

Whiskeys don’t judge. Bourbon doesn’t get all uptight if Jessica spent the night with some Canadians or a Manhattan Rye. It’ll be real chill about that Scotch that caught her eye, or whether she spells it "whiskey" or "whisky" on any given day, or if somehow it turns out that Jessica straight-up killed whiskey's wife because an evil man who sounds like Doctor Who made her do it. Heck, It’s even willing to turn the blind eye on the occasional dalliances with beer or vodka, or even straight-up chugging a glass, not a wine glass, a real glass of wine like a champ. 

Whiskey even understands if sometimes, sometimes Jessica has to hide it away, tucked in a brown paper bag, afraid for the world to see their innocent but beautiful expression of mutual love on a public street.

What it all comes down to is that whiskey loves Jessica Jones so much that none of that matters. It’s happy just to be there for her, as they live their lives in sweet, alcohol-soaked, brain-cell-killing bliss. 

Also, I think she may have a drinking problem.