Chosen One of the Day: Laurie Strode's Best Friends from 'Halloween'

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Sep 20, 2017

In any given horror flick, we are, as an audience, supposed to care deeply about our star, our Final Girl or our Nonthreatening Man Candy. Friends are mere archetypal collateral. They are Red Shirts who bone. And in the realm of Red Shirts who bone, there is no greater hero than Annie Brackett, played by Nancy Kyes, and Lynda Van der Klok, played by P.J. Soles, best friends to Laurie Strode. They're funny, they're sassy, they're foul-mouthed, but above all else, possibly my favorite character trait is that they pretty much just hate Laurie. Like they tolerate her at best.

We see it even more in this deleted scene, where Lynda yells at Laurie and both friends use her for her clothes so they can crumple those clothes in a corner somewhere since our virginal heroine is in no danger of clothing crumplage. 

Spoiler: They presumably tear and spill on both these items. Blood is super hard to get out and they hadn't invented OxiClean yet.

Annie thinks Laurie is a "wacko" and mocks her for "scar[ing] another one away." Then she tells Laurie's crush that Laurie is into him much to her not-OK-with-thisness and expects her to be ready to go with him to the homecoming dance TOMORROW. She didn't PLAN, Annie. She doesn't have a DRESS. You people stole all her clothes. THOUGHTLESS. And, aside from that deleted scene, Lynda and Laurie don't even interact until Lynda calls Laurie from her literal deathbed and Laurie just assumes it's a mid-orgasm prank call because her friends are terrible.

The only saving grace for Annie and Lynda is that they're not the friends in the Rob Zombie remake. Hey? Rob? You're great at very certain things. Music. Top hats. Casting your wife in things and displaying her breasts like prize hams. You're not great at teen girls. 

Anyway, they both die with no pants on and that's it for them. But we'll always have the memories (and in P.J. Soles' case, the mammories. Heh heh, get it? Because boobs. Boobs is what I'm saying).