Chosen One of the Day: Power Rangers' Krispy Kreme product placement

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Mar 28, 2017

Power Rangers came out this weekend, and it is, uh, not good. It's better than I expected, given that director Dean Israelite also helmed the craptasitfarious Project Almanac. But. Y'know. It's not terrible. It's watchable. There are three elements of it, however, that are bona fide crush-my-heart-with-a-metric-ton-of-glitter splendid. One is this guy:

Blue Ranger forever, represent.

The other two are related: Elizabeth Banks and Krispy Kreme. Simply put, Elizabeth Banks is having the time of her life playing baddie Rita Repulsa. Of several lives — out there are people whose lives are devoid of fun, because Banks leeched every bit of it out of them so she could go max bat guano insanity in this movie. We're talking Eva Green in 300: Rise of an Empire, Charlize Theron in Snow White and the Huntsman-level scenery-chewing madness.

Which brings me to the third thing that Power Rangers did right, and that is product placement.

Guys. Rita. Repulsa. Loves. Her. Krispy. Kreme.

The ol' Krispy K must have played a boatload of money for their Power Rangers promo, because a larger-than-you'd-think chunk of the third act plot revolves around the chain. Specifically, Rita's hunting down a MacGuffin that's buried underneath its Angel Grove location.

I was reasonably certain that Thor: Ragnarok was going to be my favorite of 2017's big-budget actioners, but I dunno, man. Thor's unlikely to break out the line of dialogue "Circle the Krispy Kreme and make sure it’s safe!," like Red Ranger Jason (Dacre Montgomery) does here.

Prove me wrong, Thor: Ragnarok director Taika Waititi. Does Thor not want the Krispy Kreme to be safe? Is he ... a Dunkin Donuts fan? I don't know if the MCU could come back from that.

Elizabeth Banks, at one point, literally stalks down the street in her Poison Ivy bondage gear snarling "KRISPY KREME." I can't wait for the DVD to come out, because I'm going to rip that audio and get every one of my friends and family members to set it as my ringtone.

Did I mention the part where Rita literally stops, mid-battle, to eat a doughnut?

Because that's a thing that happens. It's not an official Power Rangers branded doughnut, because that's a little too Charlie Kaufmanesque. What it is is relatable. Look, sometimes you're laying the hurt on some upstart teens, and you get peckish. I go for an original glazed to fuel my world-ending rages, but if Rita's a frosted sprinkle girl I can't begrudge her that. As long as she's not eating custard-filled.