Everyone on Gotham says I love you, and it's really weird

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Dec 7, 2017

SPOILER WARNING! The following recap contains spoilers for tonight's Gotham episode, "Queen Takes Knight."

There's a lot to digest as Gotham goes into hibernation for the winter. Tabitha beat Butch in the face with a pipe until he gets his memory back because she loves him, Alfred punched Bruce in the face until Bruce signed emancipation papers because Alfred loves Bruce, Ed punched a mirror because he's in love with Lee, and Penguin got locked up and met the future love of his life, Jerome.

Yes, like the old Woody Allen movie, Everyone Says I Love You, except with a lot more violence. But not me. And if I did, the only person I would be saying I love you to is myself, because...

I WAS RIGHT ABOUT SOFIA FALCONE AND LITERALLY EVERYTHING ELSE

From Sofia Falcone's very first appearance, I said she was playing the longest of long games. I said she was playing everyone against each other. I said that she had no allegiances. I said she would get real crazy before long.

But most of all I said that Professor Pyg, who seemed like he was running his own insane game to #$@! with the GCPD for laughs, was actually in an elaborate scheme with none other than Sofia Falcone.

*smug whisper* Nailed it.

This episode starts with the Pyg "changing faces." And then Carmine Falcone showed up, sided with Penguin, and slapped his own daughter in the face. I admit, that surprised me. But as soon as a mass shooting led to Carmine's death, all along as I watched Sofia Falcone roll around in her wheel chair with her weird, Tim Burton-esque neck brace, as I watched Victor Zsasz sell out Penguin in favor of Sofia, I was chuckling. I knew this was Sofia's plan -- she killed her father, she faked needing a wheel chair, and she used the Pyg to off her father because she had been using him to screw with Gordon all along.

And when she killed the Pyg herself I nearly rushed and threw open the windows to scream "I WAS RIGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING" to anyone within shouting distance. But then I remembered that my neighbors already hate me. And they don't watch Gotham so they wouldn't "get it," ya know?

There's only one thing that threw me. I knew Sofia wanted revenge on Gordon. I knew that part of her endgame would be to place Gordon into a position that would make him miserable because, you know, Gordon killed Sofia's brother, and so... yeah -- same, Sofia. I would be angling for some sick revenge, too.

But "Queen Takes Knight" suggests pretty heavily that Sofia doesn't even really want to be the crime boss of Gotham. It seemes to suggest that this was all just for revenge against Gordon. And, as the kids who talk about tacos say, "por que no los dos!"

There is no reason for all this effort to be for a man. Not Gordon, not Carmine, not Penguin, not even for me (although I appreciate Sofia proving all my suspicions to be correct). It should be enough that Sofia looked at Gordon, saw that he killed her brother, and concluded that there was nothing wrong with getting the coldest of cold revenges against him on her rise to the top of Gotham's gangs. Hopefully, when Gotham returns from hiatus, there will be some retconning and that's what will happen. Because Sofia Falcone ruling Gotham along with her hench-ladies, Tabitha, Barbara, and Selina would taste pretty sweet.

HUMOROUS OBSERVATIONS TO ELICIT SOFT CHUCKLES FROM THE READER

  • Carmine says "The sun never shines here" and, yes, Carmine. Gotham films in New York City which I can confirm after 37 years is a bit of a bleak, concrete hellscape.
  • The best part of the GCPD getting behind Gordon is that they finally realized they don't have to let Penguin just roll up on them and shout a bunch of crazy nonsense. That was weird, right? Just throw him out! Or arrest him! This week they finally did both, holy jeez, thanks for being cops, guys.
  • Does anybody care about this angsty Bruce Wayne plotline? That's rhetorical, the answer is no. Please get over it, Bruce, you are very boring.
  • There's this moment where the GCPD are getting their guns and whatnot together and Harper is showing off her guns, both literally and with her figurative muscle arms. This would be a lot cooler if she wasn't always getting bopped on the head every episode. You gotta earn that Rambo stuff, Harper. Sorry.
  • The idea of "Joker" and Paneguin teaming up fills me with so much glee. Gotham has crossed a lot of weird characters with each other, and this one could wind up being the zany best.
  • But please don't put Ed and Lee together. Literally that is the worst thing I have ever heard that isn't angsty Bruce Wayne, who still has the top spot.