Hey, guy who wrote that Anakin Skywalker #MeToo thing? READ THE ROOM

Contributed by
Dec 14, 2017

This has been a year filled with bad takes, poor choices and questionable concepts of "funny" or "joke" or "appropriate workplace penis visibility." As the year has gone on, our f*ck-this level has been surpassed on myriad occasions. 

Today, we leveled up.

Hayden Frye, a communcations specialist in DC, penned a satirical piece for USA Today discussing Anakin Skywalker, "a toxic, misogynistic predator," using his office romance, as it were, with Padme Amidala as a centerpoint for professionally inappropriate behavior, such as telling her that he dreams about her, or undermining her in public, or continuing to harass her even though she explicitly tells him it makes her uncomfortable. 

And here's the thing: it's all true! Anakin sucks! These are actual issues that exist within the Star Wars universe and most literature, film and television because society has bought into a warped concept of what we view as acceptable male behavior when dealing with a woman in power, let alone what we see as romantic, not to mention the lack of female Jedi masters and broader female representation in the original films and prequels. That's a great convo! Let's have it!

Except...here's how it ends: 

The Jedi Council's inability to remove a toxic, misogynistic predator from its ranks ultimately brings about its downfall — when Anakin Skywalker joins the dark side and becomes Darth Vader. Maybe if the Jedi were more concerned with gender equality, and less concerned with balancing the force, then they would still be around today.

Oh. You're mocking us.

I mean they wouldn't be around today. Because they're not real. This isn't a real thing at all. Except for, you know, all the actual rape and sexual assault in real life. That's a real thing. Those coattails you're holding onto like Marty McFly on the back of a pickup truck, those are very real and these stories are still coming out and maybe right now wasn't the best timing for your hilarious piece about the fictional people, especially when those fictional people fall in love and have children, considering people already have nebulous ideas of power dynamics in work relationships and also considering the fact that a lot of people think this is all a big dumb joke anyway and maybe JUST MAYBE you writing a whole piece about Sandy Sandhater RIGHT NOW isn't ideal.

Read the room, bro. It's a room filled with annoyed fangirls who have no interest in your "lol it's just jokes *smiley winky face*" satire right now. 

And if we were, maybe next time it could be funny? lol it's just jokes ;)