(WARNING: THE FOLLOWING REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR THE GOTHAM SEASON FINALE EPISODE "WRATH OF THE VILLAINS: TRANSFERENCE")
Previously on Gotham ... Fish Mooney is back, is now literally part fish for some reason, and is hated by all of you, apparently. But not me. When it comes to Gotham, I'm a pescatarian. Fish Mooney 4 lyfe!
Now on Gotham ... the end of Season 2! It probably goes without saying that the finale is insane, but is it blowing-up-someone-with-a-rocket-launcher-point-blank insane? Well, there is a comically large bomb in the mix, so ...
- Hugo Strange, at the behest of The Court of Owls, has to obliterate Indian Hill while keeping the remainder of his monster squad hidden forever. So the plan is, set us up the bomb, file all his monsters into a monster party bus, and then set us off the bomb -- make your time. But first, Strange has to make sure no one has figured out that there's a secret shadowy organization behind his slightly less secret shadowy science basement. So he gives Jim Gordon truth serum while Nygma tortures Bruce Wayne and Lucius Fox. Result? They figure out that everyone knows that Wayne Enterprises is responsible for Indian Hill but no one knows that there is a secret organization that controls Wayne Enterprises. Well, they know now because Strange told them, but what are the odds that the main characters are going to survive for season three? And why haven't the GCPD already shown up?
- Because the GCPD is dumb and Harvey and co. somehow believe that fake Jim Gordon is real even though everything he says and does screams "I AM DEFINITELY TOO FUN TO BE JIM GORDON". Faux Gordon (Fauxrdon) tells Bullock that Strange is clean, but then confesses that things are complicated and "you don't want to know". He also says he thinks maybe he's coming down with the flu which is apparently all Harvey needs to explain away the fact that Fauxrdon keeps twitching and winking like a crazy person who twitches and winks too much. Alfred shows up and is like, "Yo, where my young ward and token black friend at?" and Fauxrdon's like, "LOL they went home LOLOLOL" and ALFRED BUYS IT. Fortunately, Barbara shows up and, when Fauxrdon's pulls a "Come to Butthead" on her, Barbara immediately knows that Fauxrdon is not Gordon. Again, Gordon is 100% not fun enough to have sexy fun times with a homicidal maniac.
- And speaking of homicidal maniacs, it's Fish Mooney, bitch! No really. She says the line. Again. Very less funny. Much diminishing returns. Wow. Almost as unfunny as me referencing the doge meme two years too late. Anyway, Fish magic-mind-control-touches Peabody and they spend most of the rest of the episode holding hands which is adorable and I look forward to this very weird version of Laverne and Shirley I assume they'll spin off into next season. Hugo Strange sees what's up and is like "OH DAMN I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN PEABODY WOULD SIDE WITH DANY AND ALSO FALL INTO VERY GAY LOVE WITH FISH MOONEY!" So Strange activates the moving-at-the-speed-of-plot ticking time bomb and locks down Indian Hill with everyone in it, including Jim, Bruce, and Lucius. In related news...
- A Jim, a Bruce, and a Lucius are all stuck in a room. Stop me if you've heard this one before. They're probably boned but then, turns out, Selina is also still in Indian Hill because she's Firefly's sidekick (hey, remember that?) So Selina turns Firefly and Mr. Freeze (also still there) against each other giving her the opportunity to bust Jim, Bruce, and Lucius out. Hugo gets caught in the Freeze/Firefly crossfire, so Gordon enlists Nygma's (also still there) help to open up all the doors so they can escape, but not before they disarm the bomb. Long story short, they pour some water on the bomb and that's the end of that plotline because how do bombs again?
- With the doors open and the bomb disabled, Fish hops in her monster party bus and escapes. The cops give chase, but it's Penguin and Butch who finally catch up. They're expecting to find Strange, but then lose their collective minds when Fish walks out, because, in fairness, if I were Penguin I would be thinking ARE YOU EVEN KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW? So Fish magic-mind-control touches Penguin, who just passes out (which is fair) while Butch is like NOOOOOPE and books it. Mooney just walks off because who knows why crazy people do things and leaves the monster party boss flipped on the side of the road.
- The end? Almost! Jim decides he's going to go track down Lee (Fauxrdon would never do this, I MISS YOU FAUXRDON) while Bruce, Selina, and Alfred decide someone should probably look into that whole secret shadowy society situation. And lest you think Gotham ain't leaving you on the craziest note possible, an old homeless woman opens the monster party bus unleashing a bunch of weird looking characters that happens to include a long-haired twin (clone?) of Bruce Wayne. That's right. Thomas Wayne Jr. is in the house, y'all! Maybe. Possibly. Yowza!
That's a lot of sandwich, Dagwood. But how much is meat and how much is sawdust because some cheapskate wanted their sandwich in a world record's book on a budget? You know the drill -- let's do this one more time.
I mean... I don't want to say "everything," but almost everything was good.
- The Bruce and Selina stuff was just so genuine. I like how crazy the show is, but it's important to have heart in their, too. The fact that Bruce and Selina are so willing to be manipulated by each other and the the way they've learned from each other this season -- I really appreciate that. Gotham is lucky to have such talented young actors on their team.
- Can you imagine a world where Hugo Strange didn't completely betray Nygma? Because I can't. It was really satisfying when, after they were done a-torturing, Strange was just like, "LOL anywaaaaays back 2 ur cell, bruh". Classic.
- What a killer set-up for Season 3! When Gordon gets back, Harvey will have been the GCPD captain while, somewhere in the city, an unknown amount of monsters that will no doubt include comic (and maybe '66 Batman) vaillains are on the loose. The Court of Owls will be furiously figuring out how to mitigate the chaos and, oh yeah, Bruce Wayne's clone will be doing who knows what. It's gonna be a looooong summer, folks.
- So... Mr. Freeze was in this episode but, like, what was his reason for the season? It would have been cool (get it?) if he had literally any character notes whatsoever. Basically, he is gonna kill Selina and then Firefly says no and he says double no and that's it. I feel like Gotham did a pretty good job setting up these two villains only to make them really paper thin in the finale. They literally just kind of hang out in the background spectating after they finish shooting their shooty guns. It's fire vs. ice, man! I should've been ready to write poetry about how cool that was. Instead all I got was this dumb recap.
- Speaking of cool bad guys who got the short shriff, much though I liked Strange double-crossing Nygma is was not fun watching Ed shout from inside a cell for the rest of the episode. The guy has escaped. A LOT. So it was kind of a bummer that he played such a minimal non-role in the back half of the episode.
- GOOD GOD WHY IS GORDON GOING AFTER LEE WHO EVEN CARES THEY ARE THE MOST BORING PEOPLE IN GOTHAM MAKE IT STOP. Ahem. That is my informed and thoughtful analysis as a highly professional media critic.
Almost everything in this episode could be filed under this section, but here goes...
- So Penguin uses his step-mother's decapitated head as a decoration. Barbara helps him figure out the right place to show off said head. Butch's only commentary is that decorating isn't really his thing. Nothing about this seems out of the ordinary because this show is crazy as is absolutely every single person on it. Oh, Gotham...
- Lucius and Gordon have no idea how to diffuse a bomb, which I really appreciate because OF COURSE THEY DON'T. But the best part is that Peabody is also there and asks for water which these two fools assume means that water will diffuse the bomb. It does, but Peabody was literally just thirsty and Oh, Gotham...
- Fish Mooney. I know y'all think she's the height of too-muchery, but come on. She tells Hugo Strange that he "would've made a great pimp" while unnecessarily holding Peabody's hand just so everybody knows that Peabody and Fish are forever. Plus, you know that woman has never driven a bus full of monsters before but she act like it's been her job for the last thirty years. Oh, Gotham...
And that's it! What did you think of this finale? Did it live up to the zany year that was Season 2? And what are our hoping for next year. Share your mentally depraved Gotham Christmas List!
Oh, and if you're sad that there won't be any more Gotham recaps and you're wondering how you'll live without my high class comedy? Never fear. Starting this week, I'll be covering the only show crazy and bizarre enough to even come close to Gotham -- Wayward Pines. See ya there!