Slashstreet Boys: The '90s boy-band monstrosity you've been waiting for

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Jason may not be much of a talker, but he sure can sing!

If you survived the era of bubblegum-pop boy bands like the Backstreet Boys, and can live to tell about it, you have to watch "Slashing Bodies," the Slashstreet Boys’ horror take on BSB’s "Everybody (Backstreet’s Back)" in which Brian, Howie, Nick, and Kevin supposedly got eaten by Freddy, Jason, Michael, Leatherface, and Ghostface, who are now doing their own gruesome take on the hit that blared at every single high school dance in the ‘90s. Filmed and edited by The Merkins in collaboration with Taco Truck, this monster mash will now haunt you more than that era.

Yes, BSB's original video was set in a haunted house with polyester cobwebs and plastic spiders and everything else. Worst haunted house ever. Brian Littrell pulls a dead rabbit out from under the covers and then morphs into a werewolf. Howie zombifies, and Keven can’t decide whether he’s Jekyll or Hyde. And reanimated mummy Nick has the nerve to ask if you think he’s sexy while climbing out of his sarcophagus.

But that’s nothing compared to Jason Voorhees waving a machete to the music. Which is nothing compared to the entire group dancing in sync with machetes.

It gets better (or worse, depending on whether you were swooning over Nick Carter’s every move back then). Forget the shiny tracksuits. These guys are hardcore in ratty jean jackets splattered with—you’d rather not know. Freddy Krueger is obviously Nick’s alter ego in that head rag, and Michael Myers tries to get some funky hair going on. Meanwhile, note each serial killer’s movie references hidden in the lyrics and the scenic backdrop of corpses.

Nineties kids will also die laughing at Ghostface answering a call from Sidney Prescott on his new smartphone. The only thing missing is bats flying out of someone’s underwear.

Add "Slashing Bodies" to your Halloween party playlist and people might scream for real. Unfortunately, the video's unembeddable, so check it out, then let us know what you think in the comments.

(via Bloody-Disgusting)