When evaluating the quality of an '80s horror movie, there are certain factors that weigh more heavily than others. Body count. How original the deaths are. How creepy the monster is. Sex appeal. But most of all ...
Yes, if there's one thing that roaming the aisles of a mom-and-pop VHS rental shop can teach, it is this: Few things make a horror movie more memorable than hair intensity. Or hairtensity, if you prefer.
We scoured, we searched, we sought, we sprayed, and we shellacked until we found the best of the best horror hair, and these are the 7 styles we'd most hope to find taped up on the wall at our haunted beauticians and slasher barbers' establishments.
Judy from Sleepaway Camp (1983)
By volume alone, Judy in Sleepaway Camp is the winner for all horror hairdom. She is the Cousin It of horror hair. Sailor Moon thinks Judy needs to dial it back -- that's how much hair Judy has.
And here's a bonus hair-related item: Judy is murdered with her own straightening iron. Horrible.
Pinhead from Hellraiser (1987)
It would be wrong to exclude the bald from this list. There's a limit to what they can do in a "best hair" category, but there are always options. And no one handles their baldness better than Pinhead from Hellraiser -- the man who skipped the plugs and went for the pins instead. And after he was done with his scalp, just kind of... kept going. That's dedication.
The Blood Diner (1987) pompadour
If you're going to turn an entire club full of punks into an army of zombie cannibals so you can effectively sacrifice a virgin and bring your fave demon into the world, you definitely need a "vegetarian diner" as a front. But the other thing you need is hair. And the band leader during said cannibalistic event has a pompadour so big, so pompadorable, it had to make it on this list. Honestly, everyone's hair in Blood Diner is amazing, but it's pretty clear who is... head and shoulders above the rest.
Grace Jones in Vamp (1986)
No hair list would be complete without Queen Katrina from Vamp, and no list regarding style of any kind would be complete without fashion icon Grace Jones. If a vampire death is the way you have to go, then let Grace Jones be the one with the fangs to do it.
Suzy in TerrorVision (1986)
The '80s was full of people competing for the best home theater set-up and also girls trying to out-Cyndi Lauper each other. TerrorVision is a marriage of the two. A horrible monster travels through the cosmos and arrives on Earth through a suburban family's satellite dish. But more importantly there is Suzy, who wins the "every color there is" award. But she does have some competition in the form of Medusa who, uh... well, she's got exactly the kind of hair you think she'll have.
If there were ever any concern that the '80s might somehow be removed from the cultural lexicon, fear not: Cassandra Peterson has been keeping the '80s torch going this whole time as Elvira, Mistress of the Dark. And of course, Elvira wouldn't be Elvira without her gigantic, enormous, heaving, undulating... hair.
Taryn in A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987)
A mohawk belongs on this list. There is no greater mohawk than Taryn's in A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors. In her dreams, Taryn is beautiful. In our hearts, her mohawk is the most beautiful of them all.