The biggest thirst traps of 2017

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You don't need to tell us that 2017 was pretty much a mess. But in times of struggle and strife, it is necessary to see the good in the world. The beauty amid the chaos. The pure, the precious. You know. The stuff that made us horny af.

And of that, my friends, there was a surplus. Team Fangrrls put together our list of the most delectable delights our eyes and other bits enjoyed this year. Join us on this trip down this sexy memory lane and quench that thirst.

Beardy Cap

It's the first entry in this post and I already have the vapors. Please hold. *fans self with the remnants of all other discarded Marvel Chrises* Whoo, OK, I'm good. The trailer for Avengers: Infinity War already looked amazing for the first minute and 25 seconds. Then, at minute 1:26, this bearded, grim pile of bangable muscles and sadness steps out of the darkness and so does my libido. The loud thud you heard on the day of the trailer's release? That was the sound of millions of people getting suctioned to their screens by their genitals like a car-window Garfield, so powerful was this image. God help us all when we actually see the movie. They're going to need to hand out towels at the door. 

Taika Waititi's Pineapple Romper

New Zealand's finest became a household name this year with Thor: Ragnarok, but he's been a longtime favorite among those of us with pulses and eyes thanks to his silver fox allure and dynamite humor. This year, he just started toying with us by wearing the most astounding pineapple-patterned romper and posing seductively with it, as if daring us to admit that yes, he's sexy enough to make us drool like hyenas while clad in the most objectively silly outfit ever. And you know what, he is! So bless you Taika for your sartorial commitment, you are the Kiwi of our hearts. And pants. - Kayleigh Donaldson

Gal Gadot Kissing Kate McKinnon on SNL

Due to living on the West Coast, I never get to see SNL live anymore. It’s been seven years since I haven’t had big moments spoiled for me by Twitter feeds at 8:30 my time. And never was this more true than the night that Gal Gadot appeared on the show and, in a sketch clearly written 100% for no other reason than for this to happen, she placed those Amazonian (okay, Israeli, just let me have this) lips upon those of Jillian Holtzmann — I mean, Kate McKinnon. I didn’t even have to wait for Twitter. My phone began to buzz, my inbox began to fill. It was like every person in the world who knew me knew that I needed to know about this meeting of the faces, and they were all right. Each new notification was like a chime rung by the heavens themselves as I got to re-live this kiss over and over again. Some speak of seeing Ali fight Frazier, or when De Niro and Scorsese pair up to do a film. Me? I speak of the time Gadot kissed McKinnon on SNL. It is all we need to say. - Riley Silverman

Oscar Isaac as Poe Dameron, More Like Poe DAMN-eron

That Oscar Isaac lip-bite in The Force Awakens is still our whole entire inner fantasy life. What could The Last Jedi possibly bring to the table? How about introducing us to a very specific fetish we didn't know we had: Poe Dameron being calmly dressed down by a chill-as-hell purple-haired Laura Dern? Um, guh. Guh, we say. (That's the sound we make when our jaws and pants drop at the same time). If he spends Episode IX getting coldly yelled at while biting his lip, we may never recover.

"Baron Von Thirst Trap" Himself, Lewis Tan

If you're familiar with him at all, chances are it's because of social media. This "Baron of Thirst Traps" (as he was lovingly dubbed by ReBecca Theodore) was first brought to our attention after his brief but scene-stealing turn in Iron Fist, but if you take to his Twitter and Instagram accounts you'll find a wealth of pictorial thirst material that Tan has no qualms about sharing with us. His impressive martial arts skills (have we mentioned he does his own stunts?!) led to Twitter-at-large calling for him to guest on AMC's Into the Badlands, and in September he was officially cast in a recurring role on the series as Gaius Chau. He's funny, he's charming, he nerds out about all kinds of things just like we do and he's always down to share shirtless photos. We'll be keeping an eye on his ascending career (and thirstily fav'ing all of those glorious pics) for the foreseeable future. - Carly Lane

That Rainbow Bridge of a Dress Tessa Thompson Wore to the Emmys

Tessa Thompson wore Rosie Assoulin to the 2017 Emmys and was the rainbow road incarnate. I still haven't picked my jaw up off the floor. Valkyrie might not have gotten to be bi in Thor: Ragnarok, but hordes of fans still know what's up. We can appreciate the rainbow flag, no matter how subtly it is waved, or how exquisitely it drapes a body like this one. They don't call it the Bifrost Bridge for nothing. - Meg Ellison

Kylo Ren's Glistening Pectorals

The shirtless Kylo Ren heard 'round the world is so new, we don't have a hi-res image for it yet. But the second we do, it will be all you see for at least the next year because LOOKATHIM. Rey is all "can you put on a cowl?" and we were all "PIPE DOWN, REY, LET THOSE THINGS BE GREAT." Now, Rian Johnson and team made sure we knew these were purposeful Solo Bobos -- it's so the audience would know Rey could see Kylo's entire body, not just his face or eyes or oiled silhouette. But we didn't need a purpose—I mean, when in the history of cinema has there been a point to ladytits? Don't explain the gift, friends. Just let us unwrap it. Next movie, just go hog wild. Emphasis on the "hog." You know what I mean. Shields up; pants down. 

Chris Pine's Bath Time In Wonder Woman

Gal Gadot gave us glorious womanhood and resilient warrior -- and Chris Pine was more than happy to play her dreamy love interest, Steve Trevor. Not only was Steve dashing and handsome, but he was a true partner to Diana both on the battlefield and off. However, most relevant to our interests here, Pine opened himself up to the Female Gaze, getting as naked as a PG-13 movie would allow. And it was wonderful. You're above average to us, bae. - Kristy Puchko

Manny Jacinto, aka Jason in The Good Place

Jason. Our favorite "hot dummy." He's the Good Place hero with a heart of gold and a brain of Cheeto dust. In Season 1, we shipped him and Janet hard. By Season 2, we ship him with ourselves (but also still Janet—sorry, Derek). And if Jason is simply too dumb for you to fully grasp his hotness, take a tour of Manny Jacinto's Instagram. Trust us—it's the real Good Place. 

And while we're on the subject...

That Good Place Moment Where Eleanor and Tahani Were Paired as Soulmates

Queerbaiting is a very real thing and it can often be extremely frustrating, and The Good Place occasionally straddles the fence of it with the hints that Eleanor has a raging thing for hellmate Tahani. This running gag mostly reached its peak at the end of Season 1, stepping aside for the Eleanor/Chidi and Tahani/Jason pairings that dominated most of Season 2 -- except for one brief moment. As the show ran through a blitz of Michael’s failed attempts at rebooting the fake Good Place neighborhood, we got one quick throwaway joke that, as Eleanor was repeatedly paired up with different “soulmates,” one of them was Tahani. Though we’d love to have dwelled on it more, it was over almost as soon as it began. One can only assume that the reason this particular round of Hell failed is that Tahani and Eleanor were just too happy together and thus not being tortured at all. Instead she was stuck back with Chidi, a pairing that is also nice but just not quite great. Essentially, it's the "frozen yogurt" of Good Place ships. - Riley Silverman

Stephanie Beatriz Going as America Chavez for Halloween

Stephanie Beatriz had a busy year. She starred in in The Light of the Moon, an independent film by first-time director Jessica M. Thompson, about a woman recovering from the trauma of sexual assault, and her amazingly badass Brooklyn Nine-Nine character, Detective Rosa Diaz, came out as bisexual—just like Beatriz herself. And around the time that acclaimed YA writer Gabby Rivera broke ground with the America series for Marvel, the first series to be written by a queer Latina about a queer Latina superhero released by a mainstream publisher, Stephanie Beatriz tweeted that she would be down to play Miss America in a film if penned by Rivera. Series artist Joe Quinones and America Chavez costume designer Jamie McKelvie replied with their adamant approval, but to drive the point home Beatriz won the hearts and minds of the people (aka all gay girls ever, self included) by cosplaying as Miss America for Halloween 2017. I used to ship Kate Bishop with America Chavez; now I ship Stephanie Beatriz as America Chavez with her own film. (And also still ship Kate Bishop with America Chavez.) It's questionable if Marvel will ever actually appease fans by giving us all what we want and casting Beatriz as America in a solo feature-length film, but this camp is in agreement: nothing but respect for my Miss America. - Sara Century

Idris Elba, Obviously

"I'm aware of the effect I have on women" was a line uttered by Idris Elba on The Office back in 2008. That effect has only grown in the last nine years, and let's be real, it's an effect had on basically any single human who is into dudes. In 2017, we got Idris back in Thor: Ragnarok as an ass-kicking Heimdall, he made out with Kate Winslet on an icy mountain in our favorite (only?) romance-adventure, and he made my insides mushy with that trigger finger of his in The Dark Tower. Look, the man is prolific, and we are better off for it. So yes, be aware of that effect, Idris. Play into it as often as you want. We're all here. The weather's great. The water's warm. - Preeti Chhibber

WayHaught

There's a reason the only question we ask each week is "How Hot Was WayHaught?" Is there anything hotter than two badass, intelligent women fighting demons and hellbeasts and the PATRIARCHY? I don't want to claim that there is a right or wrong way to be a shipper, but if you don't think the youngest Earp and her police officer girlfriend on Wynonna Earp are the greatest couple to ever grace your TV screens, you need to consider your life choices. Waverly and Nicole weathered demon possession and poisonous widow bites and disapproving sisters and even a surprise Vegas wife this season and they're still going strong. Plus, we really really like it when they kiss and they're gonna do so much more next season. - Tricia Ennis

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