It is useless to resist — unless, that is, Solo tuckered you out on the franchise.
Adult Star Wars fans who can't get enough of their favorite characters from the original trilogy and its most acclaimed entry, The Empire Strikes Back, now's your chance to see them... in a burlesque show?
You heard that right.
Satirical versions of Han, Luke, Leia, Boba Fett, and Darth Vader, among others, will all be appearing live and in the flesh in The Empire Strips Back: A Star Wars Burlesque Parody, a kinky stage production that made waves when it debuted in Australia in 2011 and which is now headed to the U.S. faster than a Kylo-Rey Force connection.
And don't worry — there won't be too much armor. In fact, not much at all.
As a trailer for the hilarious high-energy show attests, among the highlights are a line of sexy Stormtroopers, a Tauntaun-riding Rebel, a dominatrix Darth Vader, a "lady-like" Luke, a C-3P0 whose "C" apparently stands for "C cup," a dancing Han and Chewie, and a Yoda whose main talent instead of raising X-wings is playing sweet music ("Do or do not, there is no try"). Jabba the Hutt, Admiral Ackbar, and a host of other memorable characters make risque cameos as well.
No doubt, if you'd just as soon kiss a Wookiee, this burlesque celebration of everything Star Wars might be your chance.
And Empire Strips is already getting rave reviews — at least from Nathan Fillion. The man who starred in Joss Whedon's Star Wars-inspired series Firefly and its big-screen entry Serenity as the Han Solo-like Captain Malcolm "Mal" Reynolds — and is beloved among the nerd set — supposedly gives the production high marks.
"The best episode of Star Wars I've ever seen," reads a quote supposedly from the actor on the show's website.
The Empire Strips Live kicks off its stateside trek tonight at the Fox Performing Arts Center in Riverside, California, and will mainly stick to stops on the West Coast before winding up its brief run June 9 at the Warfield in San Francisco. You can purchase tickets here. Just be sure to leave the young Padawans at home, mmkay?