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The Week in Geek: Disney Destroys! Captain Marvel Marvels! Player One is Ready!

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Mar 30, 2018

You did it! Another week felled like the beast it was. And it has definitely been one hairy beast of a week, for your intrepid reporter as much as it was for the world at large.

And since you fine folks like a touch of the personal at the top, here's some weekly advice from me to you: never look for an apartment in New York City. Ever. You'll have an easier time winning the Hunger Games, defeating a zombie horde, convincing the producers of Supernatural to stop making episodes, and releasing The Snyder Cut of Justice League than finding an affordable space to rent in New York that also allows cats. Seriously. Dystopian hellscape, thy name is NYC real estate.

But you didn't just come here to share tales of apartment hunting at the end of the universe. Here they are... the five most talked about stories from THE WEEK IN GEEK! (All the fun, ones, I mean. You don't really want to revisit the stories about stabbings or kids cartoon creators who sexually took advantage of teenage girls, do you? Me neither.)

THE FANTASTIC FOUR ARE GONE NO MORE

Hey! Do you guys remember Reed Richards? Sue Storm? Ben Grimm? Johnny Storm? Do these names sound familiar to you? They are the original line-up for Marvel's first, true answer to the Justice League — the Fantastic Four!

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It's been around three years since the cosmic-charged super family originally created by comic book legend, Stan Lee and Jack Kirby, had their last ongoing series end. And it's been about the same amount of time since Fox's last effort to make a Fantastic Four movie went full Hindenburg.

And one of the worst kept secrets in comics is that, since Fox owns the rights to making Fantastic Four movies (and are pretty terrible at it), Marvel and Disney don't see much point in supporting those characters. In an interview with Newsarama back in August of 2017, one of the team's most popular writers, Jonathan Hickman, even said that, for the Fantastic Four to return, "Disney probably needs to buy Fox."

Well? That's... I mean that's kind of where we're at, so...

The Fantastic Four is coming back to comics in August 2018! And long-serving Spider-Man writer, Dan Slott will be writing it! And Ultimate Spider-Man artist, Sara Pichelli will be drawing it!

That last part is pretty relevant as there has never been a woman artist on Fantastic Four in an ongoing capacity. I mean... that's kind of embarrassing, but at least they're fixing it? Hooray for incremental change? Eh. I'll take it.

Dan Slott, ever the long-term planner, is envisioning writing at least 55 issues of Fantastic Four. That's about... five years? So, you know, just a hot second.

Is this comic announcement only the first for the Fantastic Four? Can a new movie series be far behind? Certainly the very public countdown to announcing this new comic series felt like a message to Fox that Disney has F4-shaped intention. I suspect we won't be waiting too terribly long to find out more.

WESTWORLD'S FUTURE'S PAST REVEALED

We've got less than a month to go before Westworld's second season premiere on April 22, 2018, but, damn, it's been a long time since December 2016. And while we've gotten snippets of what might be here and there, it wasn't until this week that we got a true, full trailer.

Dolores at war, Bernard seeking peace, Maeve just looking for the daughter who's not even hers, Shogun World, Future World, and an endless supply of violent delights with violent ends — there's a lot to mull over in this trailer. And people are definitely doing that. We know we'll being seeing more of William's past with Dolores. How will that impact our understanding of what's happening now? What is Shogun World like? And what does the real world look like?

Am I a robot? Are you a robot? Was that instrumental version of Nirvana's "Heart-Shaped Box" awesome? Yes. Yes, it was. And we can only guess at what other pop songs we'll see re-interpreted this season (but "Zombie" by The Cranberries better be there.)

Anyway. Yup! Good trailer.

IS READY PLAYER ONE THE BEGINNENDING OF SPIELBERGIAN NOSTALGIA

Ernest Cline's novel/ode to nerdy reference making, Ready Player One, finally has its movie adaptation. It's directed by the man himself, Steven Spielberg, it features Gundams and Iron Giants and The Shining for some reason (the reason is Spielberg loves The Shining). It's a lot to chew over.

And the question that doesn't have an answer yet is: who is Ready Player One really for? Is it for '80s and '90s nerds? Is it for Overwatch and Street Fighter fans? Is it for the anime weeabos? Is the nerd movie that appeals a little bit to everyone the nerd movie that proves we don't really need a big budget nostalgia fest that appeals a little bit to everyone?

Ready Player One, which, honestly, I saw and kind of just shrugged at, is the story that will launch a thousand think pieces — is '80s nostalgia over? Is fan fiction really meant for film? And did the movie successfully mitigate what was seen as the toxic masculinity of the book without losing what made Ready Player One popular in the first place?

Don't look at me? I was just happy that [SPOILER] made it into the final cut.

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BRIE LARSON TURNS EVERYONE GAY

I'm not sure I'd categorize Carol Danvers a legendary gay icon, but she absolutely has been a feminist hero for folks to cosplay as since she started being written by Kelly Sue DeConnick, dropped the Ms. and became Captain Marvel. And, you know, she's got a little bit of a butch vibe. Look: I'm bisexual and I love Captain Marvel. Empirical evidence, but, take it from this pusher of the gay agenda: there's something there.

And that something EXPLODED this week when behind-the-scenes photos of Brie Larson in full '90s mode were released.

I mean... y'all. The cutoff GnR shirt? Those arms? The comfortable jeans and... is that a can of beer? This is Shane from The L Word levels of hot. And I'm not sure the internet can cope with it. I'm not sure I can either. Why is Captain Marvel still a year away???

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THE DISNEY PIXAR TOURNAMENT THAT BROKE THE INTERNET

If you long for the halcyon days of arguing over what color a dress is or whether it's Berenstein or Berenstain, then has the internet ever got the escape from gun control arguments for you — DISNEY OPINIONS.

So here's what is happening: there is a bracket based system listing all the Disney and Pixar movies to decide which is the best. It is generating do much rage, because basically EVERYONE loves Disney movies. And even people who don't love Disney movies still know them and have opinions about them (even if they don't want to admit it.)

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I say the internet has been broken by Disneymania, but, really, arguing over whether WALL-E is better than The Incredibles (it is) or if Mulan is better than Zootopia (it is not) has probably saved a lot of lives through the distraction between bouts of screaming at your parents because they voted for the orange guy or because you just want to keep your glock or whatever it is people are failing to change each other's opinions on this week.

Anyway. Week's over. All of these five things were fun. I'll leave you with this: SYFY announced that there's going to be a time-traveling Sharknado movie that will end the Sharknado franchise. Are you happy because a time-traveling tornado of sharks sounds fun or because you have sharknadophobia and, after this final movie, you'll finally be able to rest easy?

Let me know! And shout to the world what your favorite stories were this week. And we'll see each other again... next week!