The worst boyfriends of Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Contributed by
Nov 13, 2017

Buffy Summers was strong, spirited, and brave. She had great friends, she loved and protected her family, and she saved the world. A lot.

She also had abhorrent taste in guys. Just awful. Very bad, dude-wise. Sure, she was not without flaws of her own—she keeps a very busy and unpredictable schedule, she's a bit secretive, and sometimes she spontaneously acquires siblings.

Some of Buffy's relationships we love and adore, but we can't deny her questionable dating choices. Even the good ones experienced prolonged bouts of murderous evil. The best we can say for her is that at least she never dated Xander. But she did date—or something along those lines—this calvacade of winners. These are Buffy Summers' worst-ever exes.

Jeffrey Kramer

Okay, technically Jeffrey is from the movie (which is considered noncanonical) but he was included in the Dark Horse comic The Origin (which, according to Joss Whedon himself, is canon). Anyway. Jeffrey was Buffy’s boyfriend at Hemery High. He dumped her via answering machine because she was too busy slaying to tend to his delicate boy desires, then he went to prom with her friend. The pastures would be no greener in Sunnydale.

Riley Finn

Riley…well, Riley did his best. He’s not bad—he’s just written that way. It’s not his fault he was a crucial part of the worst Big Bad of the entire series, a plot line so useless even the show itself determined it wasn’t worthy of being a season finale, and instead closed the season with a guy waving slices of cheese around. He was just a big loaf of bland white bread, and as such it was jarring when he went full Deer Hunter and started playing the vampire version of Russian Roulette, letting vamps bite him for the sheer thrill of it. He meant well. He wasn’t a bad guy. He was just the narrative and relationship equivalent of a shrug.

Parker Abrams

After faking his way through passing as a normal human, Parker had sex with Buffy then dropped her hard. He also hit on the dreaded Roommate Kathy and made a failed attempt to get with Willow. Above all else, Parker was such a bad match with Buffy that his badness reverberated through time and space and caused her to date someone else on this list. Lest we forget, it’s Parker being an asshole about Buffy—telling Riley,”The difference between a freshman girl and a toilet seat is that the toilet seat doesn't follow you around after you use it”—that made Riley punch him in the face and realize he was into Buffy. Smooth move, Parker, you off-brand-Xander-looking douche.

Tom Warner

Tom was the frat boy Buffy and Cordelia partied with until it turned out the fraternity is actually a cult (tom-ay-to, tom-ah-to, you might say). Tom slipped something into Buffy's drink in order to sacrifice her to his repitle god. At the very least he saved her from being molested by his frat brother, but he also attacked her with a sword and, this cannot be stressed enough, drugged her to sacrifice her to a reptile god, so no points awarded for providing the bare minimum of human decency.

Billy Fordham

Billy pretended to be into Buffy, but all he was after was her body - specifically to give said body to Spike. Billy attempted to sell Buffy to Spike so he’d turn Billy into a vampire. Yes, sure, he was suffering from terminal brain cancer, but as a rule we’re against the sale or trade of humans.

Cameron Walker

Cameron Walker was rape culture in human form with a bad haircut. He tried to have sex with Buffy in a car and then after she broke his nose, because OBVIOUSLY, he told on her to Principal Snyder for leading him on and being a tease. He even pulled the classically evil, "I mean, look at the way she dresses." Asshole. Luckily he turned into a fish, so we didn’t have to deal with him anymore.

Scott Hope

Scott dumped Buffy right before Homecoming for being too busy and important for him, and subsequently spread rumors that she was gay - which was ultimately a cover for the fact that he was gay. He sucks, but he’s still the least garbage person on this list.

Spike

I know, I know. BUT HE TRIED TO RAPE HER, PEOPLE. JESUS.