I never thought it could happen to me. Last year, when the maneating storm hit the West Coast, I watched in horror, secure in my home here in New York City.
But Fate is a strong swimmer, because only a year later, there is another storm coming and it is on the way to take a bite out of the Big Apple. A Sharknado is touching down in New York City tonight at 9 p.m. on Syfy, and I’m terrified it is going to carve up our subways like a sandwich artist; have its Great White way with the theatre district; and chomp through pedestrians packed like sardines in Time-to-die-Square.
You can bet I’m not going to get shark'd, though, because I'm prepared. Not only did I grow a Quint-sized mustache and put Jimmy Buffett’s “Fins” on continuous play, I’ve read up on the guidelines from the New York City Office of Airborne Aquatic Crisis Management. I barricaded my apartment windows with chainmail, stocked up on water and filled up the chainsaw.
If you want to get a live weather report from New York City on Sharknado 2: The Second One, all you chums out there should join me on Twitter @syfywire with the hashtag #Sharknado2. I’ll be tweeting the eating beginning at 8 p.m., and looking out for your pictures, comments and words of support during this toothy time.
Tune in and log on. Be there or be bait.