If you ever spot us dozing off on the porch of a Hooters in Florida, give us a nudge and wake us up, OK? Because we don't want a vampire to attack us and threaten to EAT us. Which is evidently what you can expect on those hot Florida summer nights.
69-year-old Milton Ellis had parked his electric wheelchair on the porch of a vacant Hooters and taken a nap when he was woken by 22-year-old Josephine Smith, who'd climbed on top of him and was biting his face and neck.
Smith then announced, "I'm a vampire, I am going to eat you," and apparently got a good start, because she bit off chunks of Ellis' face and part of his lip before he escaped to a nearby gas station and phoned the police.
Smith, who was arrested on charges of assaulting an elderly person, is being held in lieu of $50,000 bail. And she probably won't care for the food she's served until she makes bail, because as far as we know, there's no old guy on the menu.