The Best of 2015: Don't Ever Ditch Your Kids

Thursday, December 31, 2015 - 07:00

Okay, so we found out on Bitten that Aleister is actually Ruth's son. Whoa.

Thing is, it's a no-no for witches to have boys, ‘cause The Prophecy says that a male child born of a witch will grow up to wreck their destruction. Yeah, it's that dramatic, and that serious.

Obviously, Ruth didn't go through with killing her kid. She definitely abandoned him, though, as we discovered that Ruth's former colleague Clara left the babe in swaddling clothes on someone's doorstep, which led to Aleister being adopted by the God-fearing Ashmonts and … well, now there's a big ol' mess.

Really, ditching your kids is never a good idea, as it usually comes back to bite you in the ass. Here are a few other shunned offspring.

  1. The Creature, Frankenstein

    This here's the classic example. After a series of personal tragedies, Victor Frankenstein becomes obsessed with defeating death itself. From this he creates life, and it's freaky and hideous. He rejects his "child," and the Creature takes its revenge, causing more death in Victor's life and, eventually, his own. Really, take a look at Robert De Niro as the Creature in Kenneth Branagh's 1994 adaptation of Mary Shelley's novel. How can you not want to hug that?
  2. Oswald Cobblepot, Batman Returns (1992)

    Tucker and Esther Cobblepot were a wealthy couple in Gotham City suddenly shamed upon the birth of their deformed son, Oswald. After Oswald abused (and perhaps even ate) the family cat, the Cobblepots put their son into a carriage and tossed him off a bridge and into a river, which flowed into Gotham's sewers and united baby Oswald with a group of emperor penguins. 33 years later, Oswald emerged as the Penguin, a grotesque criminal mastermind that proved a major threat to Gotham City and a formidable foe to the Batman. Thank goodness Tucker and Esther didn't live to see Oswald completely corrupt the Cobblepot family name!
  3. Roman Bridger, Scream 3 (2000)

    Roman Bridger was the villainous mastermind behind the first three Scream movies. He was the son of Maureen Prescott, the result of a rape that occurred when Maureen was an unknown Hollywood actress going under the stage name of Rena Reynolds. She started a new life in Woodsboro, marrying Neil Prescott and having a daughter, Sidney, after which Roman revealed himself to her as her son, expecting to be invited into the family. However, Maureen rejected Roman, saying he was "Rena's son and Rena is dead." Enraged, Roman then started filming Maureen having affairs with Cotton Weary and Hank Loomis, the father of Sidney's high school boyfriend, Billy. Roman shared the footage with Billy, which enraged him and inspired the events of the first Scream. Roman later became a successful music video director and the director of Stab 3, which put a whole other meta-spin on his final confrontation with his half-sister, Sidney. Whew!
  4. Lawrence Talbot, The Wolfman (2010)

    This one's a doozy. Sir John Talbot shipped his young son Lawrence off to a loony bin after Lawrence witnessed his father standing over the body of his mother, Solana, who apparently committed suicide; in reality, Sir John is a werewolf that unwittingly chomped down on his bride. Years later, Lawrence visits his estranged father upon the murder of his brother, Ben (again, Sir John's doing), and becomes a werewolf himself, prompting an eventual father-son wolf-out battle by the light of the full moon that ends with dear old dad dead. Never doubt that lycanthropy = tragedy.
  5. Ned Rifle, Ned Rifle (2014)

    Ned Rifle was first introduced in Hal Hartley's Henry Fool (1997) as the son of Fay Grim and the ne'er-do-well philosopher/scoundrel, Henry Fool. Henry's forbidden appetites get him in trouble with the law, after which he flees the country, leaving Fay to raise their son by herself. Years later, Fay gets involved with Henry once again, which lands her in the federal slammer. Now a grown man, Ned is on the hunt for his father, determined to kill him for ruining his mother's life. Couldn't just live an honest life as a garbageman in Queens, could you, Henry?

All December long, we counted down the best of 2015. Here's the complete list.