When Margo learns that Eliot's ship has been attacked by pirates, she asks the assistance of someone she hasn't turned to for help before: the Fairy Queen. Finally, she reveals herself to Margo's servants, and agrees to help.
Meanwhile Alice, and her new kitten, return home to see her parents. "Surprise, parents, I'm not dead! "After her kitten runs away from Carol (Alice's parents' former girlfriend who's not doing so good now that magic is dead), Alice believes that The Lamprey is in Carol. When Quentin turns up, they realize that the Lamprey is NOT in Carol, it's in HIM.
As Julia goes out to find supplies for her spell with Kady, she runs into a homeless woman, who is clearly under a spell from somewhere. She tells Julia, "we thought you'd be farther along by now." What does she mean?!
The Lamprey, it turns out, can jump bodies. While the family tries to seal the house (and the boundaries of their skin) to keep the Lamprey from entering, Alice sneaks into the garage to get the car battery, which she can use to electrocute The Lamprey. Instead, she finds Quentin, weakened on the floor from The Lamprey leaving him.
When the Fairy Queen takes them all to the Muntjac, Tick proves himself to be a skilled pickpocket and steals Margo's eye from the Fairy Queen. And then, they're introduced to the Pirate King. Who's a woman, but a badass King. With an insane request...
The request is that their boats have sex with each other. While that may seem strange (it is), keep in mind that the Muntjac is made of sentient wood. It's pretty common in Fillory for pirate boats to agress other boats like this and it never goes well. Margo asks the boat for permission, but like...how does a boat give consent? It's all very confusing.
Alice's parents are upset that she didn't tell them she was alive, and facing crises from living without magic, they're definitely unspooling at the seams. At one point, Alice's mom even tries to kiss Quentin.
It turns out the Fairy Queen saves the Muntjac from unwanted boat sex by intervening and killing the pirates. She admires Margo's leadership and lets her have a pass. But as punishement for stealing the eye ball, she casts a spell on Margo's servant, who will now hear a song in his head until it drives him mad. In defiance, Margo crushes her own eye ball. There will be consequences for that besides partial blindness...
The good news: the demon that Kady and Julia conjured takes the tumor from Penny. Turns out, demons consider tumors as much a delicacy as truffles. The bad news: the whole process KILLS Penny. Thankfully he was able to astrally project before he took his final breaths. But he's a ghost now? What now?!