Warehouse 13A Gift Guide For America's Attic

A Gift Guide For America's Attic

What'd We Give Artie?

What do you get the team that has everything? The Warehouse may hold every artifact under the sun, but when it comes to brightening the holiday spirits of the people tasked with protecting it, we think there's a better (and less potentially explosive) way than bringing in another enchanted item. Join us as we make a list for our favorite Warehouse residents.

Artie is married to the Warehouse, but that doesn't mean he can't see other people on the side. The number one person of interest in that regard is Dr. Vanessa Calder. Since he's only seen her in a work-related capacity any time in the last, oh, six months - like when they saved a group of women from turning to clay in "Love Sick," we figured we'd set up a calm, romantic evening for the two of them to relax and enjoy each other's company. And speaking of "Love Sick," maybe we'll get him a new toothbrush, too. Sure, Pete and Myka say they just needed it for the DNA, but considering how drunk W.C. Fields' juggling balls made them, who knows what else happened…

We love Artie. We love Artie's eyebrows. But sometimes, Artie's eyebrows don't love him. They become a little, shall we say, animated, and he likes to give them a little pat-down before special occasions (such as meeting with the aforementioned doctor). We think he'd enjoy a special brow-grooming session this year as his relationship with Vanessa gets more and more serious.

We didn't peg Artie for a pet lover, but when he connected with a strange dog in "Past Imperfect," we had to change our opinion of him. Remember how adorable he was when he and the dog were psychically connected? Artie scratched and panted and was just as faithful as his canine counterpart. If we weren't so afraid of his temper, we'd get Artie and his pooch some chew toys, and maybe matching water bowls! Wouldn't that be cute? Yeah, maybe not!


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