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Bitten: Top 5 Weirdest Hookups

The sex scenes on Bitten are all kinds of hot. They're also sometimes ... a bit strange, too.

By Bryan Enk
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The sex scenes on Bitten are all kinds of hot. They're also sometimes ... a bit strange, too.

We suppose it comes with the territory. After all, the show's about werewolves (and now witches, too), so when you consider such a context, any hot n' heavy goings-on are bound to get a bit wild and unpredictable.

With that in mind, we thought it was high time we compiled the most bizarre couplings on the show to date, complete with video. One of the below clips even makes for a sneak peek of tonight's episode, so it's, you know, especially topical.

Enjoy.

  1. Meet Elena

    Traditional werewolves transform by the light of the full moon. The hip werewolves of Bitten apparently transform en route to orgasm. This was actually the very first scene of the very first episode of the very first season of Bitten, so this is how we were first introduced to the world of the show and its heroine, Elena Michaels. Pleased to meet you, blondie!

    Bitten Hookup #1

     
  2. Mr. & Mrs. Smith

    And in a somewhat more low-key moment, here's how we were introduced to Nick in the first episode of Season 1. It would appear that Nick is some sort of sex therapist, or male escort, or undercover CIA agent, or maybe all three or none of the above ... anyway, whatever's going on in this scene never came up again, which makes it even stranger -- and more delightful.

    Bitten Hookup #2

     
  3. Communing With Nature

    You've heard of sex on the beach. But sex in the woods ... that's something of an endurance test. There's dirt and bugs and humidity and tree bark and all kinds of stuff that might make you think twice about getting naked. But take a witch who "needs to think about something else for a while" and a werewolf known for gettin' it on at a moment's notice and all that sticky nature starts to seem as welcoming as a fluffy king-sized bed at the Ritz. (See more in tonight's episode!)

    Bitten Hookup #3

     
  4. The Would-Be Werewolf Queen

    Awww, Cain and Amber. We actually liked them as a couple. Theirs was a passionate romance, fueled by an animal attraction and a taste for blood (literally, on both counts). The first time we see them going at it (Season 1, Episode 7: "Stalking," for the record), they're in Cain's trailer, with Amber enthusiastically recounting the violent ambush they engaged in earlier. Swoon! Unfortunately, Cain ended up castrated and Amber's dream to become a werewolf herself ended up being a living nightmare, so it's best to remember the salad days ...

    Bitten Hookup #4

     
  5. Dark Magic ... Darker Sex!

    This one was a doozy, even for Bitten. Just when we thought Aleister's resident mad scientist, Dr. Sondra Bauer, couldn't get any kookier, along comes the final scene of Season 2, Episode 4: "Dead Meat." You've got her and Aleister going at it in a circle of candles, surrounded by hooded goons (that kind of reminded us of the lobotomized drones in The Black Hole, which makes it even weirder ... and hotter!), and then Dr. Bauer slams a syringe full of Elena's wolf blood into her leg and ... well, you know. Watch it again!

    Bitten Hookup #5

Catch Bitten Season 2, Episode 5: "Rabbit Hole" tonight at 9/8c.