The F*cking Cop: Season 1, Episode 1

WARNING: If you don't want to know what happened in this episode, don't watch this photo recap!

It's 1999, oil is really expensive, food is scarce, the world has fallen to pieces. And this is Grace. Our heroine.

That guy she's stuffing into her engine is some dude who tried to rape her. So, she feeds him to her car. Grace's car runs on blood. Gas is, yes, so expensive in this world that this car runs on blood.

This is Arthur (on the left) and Christopher (on the right). They're both cops that work for a privatized police force called Contracrime. Acting on a few things they've heard from a few sketchy types, they find themselves investigating…

…a party run by this guy. Julian Slink. Turns out he is the host of a race made up of a LOT of these cars that run on blood. The prize is ten million dollars and it's called…yep. The Blood Drive. So…central premise of the show. Ya been told.

How it works is, the teams driving get some technology implanted in their skull. They can't ever be too far from their team or Slink can melt their brains. Also, if they come in last to a heat, Slink can melt their brains.

As you might expect, Arthur ends up falling into the party and through a series of hijinks, ends up on a team with Grace. Slink's really into the showmanship of the whole thing, see. There's no time to figure it out or escape, these two are part of the race.

Grace is trying to win the race so she can save her sister, who needs a lot of mental health care. Arthur, though, is not about to take the blood drive seriously. He's never going to let someone die for fuel. But…won't he?

Meanwhile, Christopher goes back to the corporate cop station, where he spends a lot of time naked. The Seargent is not buying this whole "vampire-car" thing, but Christopher isn't ready to let this go.

Meanwhile, back on the blood drive, Grace and Arthur come across a gruesome scene. Another racer, Rib Bone, has found some fuel.

So, Arthur grabs the wheel from Grace so he can try to save them, but instead, he causes car trouble and gets in a fight with Rib Bone.

Christopher enlists the help of Aki, one of the other officers. She leads him to a place called Heart Industries. But what's there?

Grace finds a way to stop The Gentleman and The Scholar (The Gentleman is here, pointing a knife at Arthur) and convinces them to fix her car. The Scholar is a genius with fixing the blood-cars. Arthur threatens them not to feed the cheerleaders to his car, but they do.

So, turns out that Aki is one of many different kinds of Akis - all of whom work at Heart Industries. Christopher is in some SERIOUS trouble.

Speaking of trouble, it turns out the Scholar didn't fully fix Grace's car. They have to do a fast patch job while everyone goes streaming past them. They're in last place!

Julian Slink, knowing that they're in last place, is about to activate those weird tech bits in their skulls that will kill them. Is there any way to short-circuit them? Turns out, there is!

If they can get their adrenaline up high enough, they can short circuit the technology long enough. So. They have sex as they race toward the finish line because of course they do.

The pair live to fight another day. And when Arthur learns that Blood Drive, Contracrime, and just about everything else is connected by Heart Industries, he agrees to finish the race and help Grace's sister. But... he's going to bring everyone to justice.