I Just Wasn't Made For These Times

Sukar saved the town from getting destroyed by arkfall, but it’s up to Nolan and Tommy to clear the Ark out and make sure there’s nothing toxic or scary in there, like an American astronaut reported dead decades ago…an astronaut so famous, Robert Pattinson played him in the movie…and not actually dead but placed into Votan hypersleep…well, better luck next time, Lawkeeper. The astronaut’s name is McClintock, and he was captain of the Bravery Some Number or Other, which infamously exploded in space. OR DID IT???

Doc Yewll checks him out and says he’s a-ok, but he doesn’t feel the same way about her. When she places an eye scanner in front of his face, he freaks out and pushes her away. “He needs some down time,” thinks Nolan, and takes him to the most Terran home in Defiance: The McCawleys’. Rafe is giddy as a schoolboy to have him in the house. He dresses him in Luke’s clothes and says he can sleep in Luke’s bed, and then they, along with Nolan and Amanda, get drunk on terran scotch until they all have to find a bed in Rafe’s house. Amanda, by the by, is drinking away the bitter taste of her ex showing up and offering her a job with the Earth Republic. Yuck, that guy has some nerve, rolling into her office and saying he can take her away from all this. She came here to get away from all that, thankyouverymuch. She does a good job of it and passes out on Rafe’s couch.

McClintock falls into a sleep tortured by visions of his beloved wife – a woman now forty years his senior – mixed with images of Indogenes hovering over his prone body. He wakes with hexagons in his eyes – just like the Indos have – and heads into the living room to strangle Amanda. Nolan gets there just in time and knocks the hero out, then hauls him off to lockup, amid Rafe’s protests that the man is in control of himself. Oh, is he, Rafe? Then why does he throw his own body against the walls of the cell, then bleed silver blood?

That’s a question for one Doc Yewll, who reluctantly admits what everyone kinda knew…the Votans studied human specimens well before they made contact with their present-day home. A collective cheer goes up from all the conspiracy theorists. Vindication at last! Yewll goes on to say that McClintock isn’t really McClintock; he just looks exactly like him. He’s actually a Indogene assassin built to look and behave like McClintock. It really is a banner day for the conspiracy theorists. This is all too much for McClintock, who knocks out Nolan, Irisa, Rafe, Amanda, her stinky ex, and almost Tommy, too, before escaping out of sight. Stinky Ex is especially hot to capture him, since he’s proof that the Votans intended harm from before first contact.

Rafe, who had a chat with McClintock the night before about a beautiful terraformed underground lake, knows that the young man will be found there. He’s a weapon, not himself at all, his wife is old enough to be his grandma, and he’s ready to throw himself off a cliff. Rafe talks him down by saying that if he really were Indogene rather than human, he wouldn’t be having these doubts. This gives him the strength to carry on and search for his wife, his one true love. Rafe covers McClintock’s tracks by telling everyone that he ended his life in that lake. Somehow, McClintock makes his way to Alabama, where he finds his "wife" - at least the one in his memories. She's totally old now and doing laundry.

Mr. Boyfriend goes to visit Amanda, whose voice is still weak after having the stuffing choked out of her by an American hero. She turns down his job offer, which not only makes him pouty about their romantic past, but also prompts him to tell her that Ambassador Tennety, the ERep official who almost killed Amanda in the desert, is launching a campaign to oust Amanda, either through diplomacy or violence. Amanda is shaken, but stands strong in her hometown. You could even say she’s… Defiant?

When Kenya refuses longtime client Datak, claiming she's too busy (and offers Tirra instead), Datak is furious. He bitches to Stahma, who tries to soothe him. In post-coital bliss with Kenya, Stahma asks why she refused Datak. Kenya refuses to be party to something that hurts Stahma, as she knows Datak's infidelity does.


Meanwhile, Nolan has some questions for Yewll about just how a disguised Indogene assassin slipped by her initial exam. Before things can get really sticky, though, enter a seemingly innocuous character from earlier in the episode, bleeding from…well, everywhere. The good(?) doctor examines our patient and makes a harrowing proclamation: Plague.