Where the Buggalo Roam
The Planet Express crew visits Amy’s parents, Leo and Inez Wong, who own the entire Western hemisphere of Mars where they operate a gigantic ranch. The gang has been invited to attend a barbecue commemorating Mars Day—the day when a Wong ancestor bought Mars from the natives for one bead. The Wongs will also meet Amy’s meek and wimpy boyfriend, Kif. The Wongs show the group their prized buggalo herd—buggalo are valuable, obese, six-legged cow-like beetles, and Amy is reunited with her pet adolescent buggalo, Betsy. The Western style barbecue gets underway and Kif arrives and meets R.J., a manly ranch hand, who forces Kif to smoke a cigarette and have a coughing fit. The Wongs immediately dislike Kif and ridicule him, telling Amy she should be dating masculine guys like R.J. All of a sudden, a dust storm descends on the barbecue, and the guests race into the ranchhouse. After the dust storm passes, Mr. Wong goes to check on the buggalo and finds they have been rustled and are gone. Kif vows to get the buggalo back. Kif plans is to take the remaining buggalos on a cattle drive and when the rustlers strike, make a citizen’s arrest. Leela, Fry, and Kif saddle up on spider-like mounts and drive Betsy, the only remaining buggalo, who has taken a shine to Kif. As they go through the majestic terrain, Kif shows his incompetence by bungling a lasso and getting swept away by rapids. They set up camp on Olympus Mons, the tallest volcano in the solar system. The gang sits around the campfire, telling scary stories and Amy shows up, scaring them silly—she had forgotten to kiss Kif before he left. As they bed down for the night they hear a rumbling sound and discover the buggalo herd crowded in the volcano’s crater. The next morning, Kif devises a way to shoot the buggalo out of the crater with dynamite, and Amy is so proud. Suddenly, they hear another dust storm approaching, and in its eye see Native Martians riding on flying buggalo. The Martians tell the crew that only they have the gift of making buggalo fly and are taking the buggalo in revenge for the Wongs stealing Mar from the Martians for one lousy bead. When the Martians find out Amy is a Wong, they kidnap her and abandon the buggalos. Fry, Leela, Bender and Kif herd the buggalo back to the ranch and tell the Wongs Amy was kidnapped by the Martians. Since they have no faith in Kif, the Wongs hire Zapp Brannigan, decorated lawman, to go to the Martians’ dangerous underground reservation to negotiate Amy’s release. The Professor sends Fry, Bender and Leela with Zapp . . Kif, with Betsy following, goes too. They enter the nostril of the Great Stone Face of Mars and meet Running Roach, Chief of the Martian Tribe who says they will only return Amy when the Martians get back the surface of Mars. When Zapp points a gun at the Chief, the Martians begin throat singing which creates a huge dust storm; in the storm, Kif mounts Betsy and rescues Amy. The Martians are so impressed that Kif has the gift of making buggalos fly they offer peace, but the Chief is insulted when Kif chokes on the peacepipe smoke and commands that he must die. Kif is tied to a table and will be crushed by the bead the Martians got for their land—a huge diamond. Leela and Fry point out that the diamond is worth a fortune, the Chief turns down an offer to trade it back for Mars, and the Martians head off in their ships—they will buy a better planet with the bead. Back at the ranch, the Wongs don’t believe Kif saved Amy, and give Zapp all the credit. Kif is despondent that Amy’s parents still don’t like him, and Amy says that’s why she does.