The Route of All Evil
Hermes’ son Dwight, and the Professor’s son Cubert are in trouble—they liquefied Brett Blob, school bully and quarterback, during a pivotal football game—and are suspended for a month. At the same time, Leela, Bender and Fry are bored and, unhappy with the choices of beer at the convenience store, decide to make some home brewed beer in Bender’s body cavity. The Professor and Hermes let their kids loose at Planet Express and they get in all kinds of mischief, which includes using the Professor’s voice duplication device to send the crew on a bogus pizza delivery to a nonexistent planet. All the while, Bender gestates his batch of brew like an expectant mother. Hermes and the Professor decide that the boys need a job, so Dwight and Cubert start Awesome Express, a rival delivery company.
When the fathers scoff, the kids inform them that they already have a customer—the Daily Supernova—and the dads are relieved that the kids have a harmless paperroute. Dwight and Cubert are hurt by their parents’ condescension, and vow to make Awesome Express hugely successful. They build a hovercraft and deliver papers around the universe, but when they deliver to Brett Blob’s house they break a window. The boys’ business is gigantically profitable and expands, and although Planet Express’ business is dwindling, the fathers still look down on their offspring because they don’t own a building or have other trappings of success. To retaliate for this put down, Dwight and Cubert move on to plan "X". When the Professor and Hermes tell the Planet Express crew they have to take a huge pay cut, the crew says that’s fine, because they now work for Awesome Express. At a meeting of the remaining Planet Express employees, Cubert and Dwight come in announcing that they’ve taken over Planet Express…the Professor declared himself dead for tax purposes three years ago and Cubert has technically inherited the company. The Professor and Hermes will not be hired on.
Bender finally gives birth to his concoction—a five gallon, six ounce ale. Cubert and Dwight are miffed that the crew is delivering beer rather than papers, and then the phone rings—it’s an irate customer complaining that his paper has not been delivered. Similar complaints flood Awesome Express, and the boys confess that they are overwhelmed and rather than deliver papers, they’ve dumped them in a crater on the moon. As Hermes and the Professor bemoan their unemployment, Dwight and Hermes run in crying—they need help unraveling the mess they’ve made by promising to deliver more papers than they can handle. The fathers assist delivering all of the backed up papers with a Gatling gun, and when they get to the Blob house, the last one on the route, the kids admit that they had broken the Blob’s window. When Hermes and the Professor apologize to Horrible Gelatinous Blob, Brett’s father, for their sons breaking his window, Horrible Gelatinous beats them soundly and ingests them. As Hermes and the Professor convalesce in the hospital, Horrible Gelatinous arrives with flowers, apologizing for hurting them—he’s been under a lot of stress. Bender arrives with his beer, and they all toast to fatherhood. Cubert and Dwight, who were ingested by Brett Blob, continue to writh in his stomach.