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HAPPY! Episodes

Season

2

Episode

9

Five Chicken Fingers and a Gun

Feels like just last week Amanda was in the hospital, her legs up in the stirrups, and a half-Wishee baby about to pop out of her and fly straight into Orcus' beelzebubian bosom. Oh wait, that's right now. When Amanda finally does pull through, she gives birth not to a child, but to a clutch of tiny Wishee embryos. They look like Gobstoppers.
While Orcus is marveling at the future progeny, Amanda gets her strength back, takes one of her oxygen tanks, lights it on fire, and incinerates 99% of the Wishee embryos. Bad ass. After that, she sets the Wishees and Orcus on fire. Things are heating up.

After escaping from the disco inferno, Orcus meets Sax and Merry in the hallway. He uses his telepathy to control Nick's shotgun... and blow away several innocent doctors and nurses. That's when Happy shows up and works his magic on Orcus, who can see him. Under Happy's spell, Orcus makes everyone in the hallway start making out. It's kinda hot. In a sexy way, not in an exploding oxygen cannister way. Even Sax and Merry feel the love, and start getting it on too. That is until Orcus runs away, Happy gets distracted, and Nick tosses Merry into the nearest elevator. For her own good.

Fast forward a few hours, and Sonny is in the hospital despairing of his ruined Eggstravaganza, and all the dead Wishees. But Orcus gives him a pep talk. For at that very moment, a troupe of Orcus' ex-cons breaks into a TV executive board meeting and raises Cain. After applying enough muscle, Orcus' henchmen take over the set, in preparation for Sonny's show.

Meanwhile, Smoothie has put Hailey up in a fancy hotel in advance of her big day as a child assassin. But she starts getting second thoughts when she's asked to take a picture of a mom and daughter in front of a plushie Easter Bunny. Also, Mother Bianchi is visited by Orcus in prison, and he uses his power to make her kill herself with her own needles. He's sending a message to all the nuns that are bent on his demise. And also to all amateur knitters, apparently.

Mother Bianchi left her personal affects in the care of Merry, who picks them up from the prison. In the box she finds a receipt from a pawn shop. Could be a clue. Merry also gets to keep Bianchi's ashes. Little morning protein shake.

When Merry goes to cash in the receipt at the pawn shop, she gets hit on the back of the head with a blackjack, and passes out. When she wakes up, she's surrounded by some strange, occult task force battling the old gods and their last grasp at power. She's initiated into the crew, after they stick a smoldering orb in her hand, and brand her.

Amanda and Sax get a call that Hailey is back at school, and that they should come pick her up lickity split. Turns out, it was a set up. Smoothie's the only one at the school. He knows Sax can't kill him, because he needs to know where Hailey is. But Amanda has no qualms about beating the loving sh*t out of the guy. They throw him in the back of the taxi, and hit the road. Smoothie directs Amanda and Nick to his makeshift lab, and offers them a wager: he will tell them where Hailey is, but first Amanda has to poison Nick with a shot to the buttocks.

At the hotel, Hailey gets a visit from Orcus, now the bellhop. He brings her some pre-assassination appetizers on a tray. Then he dashes, and lets her dine. And Hailey's last meal? A pistol, a Sonny Shine All-Access pass, and some tater tots.