Getting all hot and bothered at the thought of the "sexspionage" in J.J. Abrams' new NBC fall spy series Undercovers? Well, the first 18 pages of the pilot script, written by J.J. Abrams and Josh Reims, have leaked out onto the net.
We debated at first whether the script was real or a fake ... until this morning, when Il Post, the site that leaked the script, wrote that, "Warner Bros. confirmed the script is true and asked politely to remove it from the web. We politely complied."
But before the script vanished, we were able to give it a close read, so here are 10 spoilers from those 18 pages that are about as spoilery as you can get.
1. Abrams feels the need for speed: In a note to the reader, the authors admit that the script is long but feel that it shouldn't be judged by something as arbitrary as page numbers. "The pace of the series is intended to be unusually, almost unspeakably, fast." In fact, they go on to write "imagine scenes MOVING LIGHTNING FAST."
2. The script opens with action. Spy Leo Nash is being chased by three darkly dressed armed men wearing faceless opaque masks. Through the chase scene we discover that the bad guys speak Russian. Leo appears to know who's coming after him, and he calls someone and leaves a message telling them "CALL. YOUR MEN. OFF." and "My offer is real."
3. A computer file is key to the mystery. During the chase scene, Leo transfers a file to a "SHINY TOY ROBOT THUMB DRIVE" and hides the thumb drive when he believes the gunmen are about to catch up to him.
4. When it comes to our heroes, she's tightly wound, he's more laid back: Samantha and Steven are retired spies who are married and own a not-so-successful catering business. She's the chef, he's the business man. She nags at her slacker sister, Lizzy, who works for her in the business. Steven says, "If we were a nonprofit we'd be very successful." When we meet them they are preparing to cater a wedding.
5. Carlton Shaw, aka the cynical CIA agent: Shaw approaches them to return to the spy business (and he's appropriately played by Gerald McRaney). According to the script, "Shaw could gut you faster than you could soft-boil an egg." He tells them he's been with the Agency for 32 years.
6. Steven's spy bio: According to Shaw ... "Steven Bloom, Los Angeles native, UCLA graduate, joined Central Intelligence in '97, following your brother, who's been with us since '89. You've been stationed in Korea, France, Hong Kong, Singapore, Germany, you've run six major-board operations in Europe and Asia. Expertise: combat, cryptography, communications and security tech. You now oversee the business end of a catering company."
7. Samantha's spy bio: According to Shaw ... "Samantha Bloom, born Samantha Gilliam, New York City, attended Columbia on scholarship, Language Studies. Played lacrosse, rowed crew, job with the UN week after graduation -- the Agency had an eye on you, with a year, we'd recruited, trained, and sent you undercover to Europe. Four years you worked eleven countries, then a three month mission in the Middle East. Skills: burglary, disguise, translation. And today ... you're a chef."
8. It all involves something called Operation Black Swan: "An ongoing mission to find and capture Alexander Slotsky. Weapons dealer, blackmarket ..." Leo Nash was running the operation on his own when he went missing. Samantha was the last agent to work with Leo on Black Swan, and Steven trained with him at "The Farm."
9. Our heroes get pulled back into the business: They are unable to resist one more mission either because they want to help Leo or due to a Shaw speech about patriotism or for the lure of spy excitement.
10. They have a cute "large mutt" of a dog named Waldorf: Enough said.
Are you ready for some sexspionage with NBC's Undercovers?