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Apr 29, 2019, 6:21 AM EDT (Updated)

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If you weren't alive during the 1980s, you might not fully comprehend the impact of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. They were like the Beatles of anthropomorphic cartoons. As such, their branding was everywhere, to the point where it got pretty silly. We're sure to see some of that with the new movie, out in theaters today. But it'll be nothing compared to some of the out-there products to bear the likenesses of Eastman and Laird's most successful creations.
Gape at these 18 bizarre Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles collectibles, and be thankful the media blitz for the new Michael Bay reboot is not as all-encompassing ... although we will leave you with one more trailer.

Piano RollWhen we load this into our player piano, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles theme will play...

Bowling SetThis 6-pin bowling set is made of plastic. The designers really phoned it in: They only...

CalculatorThere were a variety of different types of TMNT calculators for sale in the early 1990s....

Camera This film camera brings up a good question: If Turtle Power is so strong, why do all their...

Cereal-Themed Notepad This notepad came with a ream of paper for taking notes. Great for people who...

CombThis grooming accessory is still available to buy. Hard to product-place this, though, as none...

CompassBecause when we're starving to death, lost in the woods, the first thing we'd like to see is...

Duck TapePart of a line of child-friendly duct tape brands, this is great for repairing any TMNT...

DVD playerThis limited-edition DVD player has the texture of a turtle. Also, like a turtle, it won'...

Extreme Basketball GameNotice how this doesn't have any automatic scoring system or lights. Someone...

Fishing PoleThis was available in the kids section of lots of sporting goods stores. It must be...

Flash DriveHot Topic sold these flash drives. We'd like a USB stick that's shaped like a Sai, so we...

Raphael Santa Claus NutcrackerThis item, which can be bought here, makes us ponder a deep...

Rock 'Em Sock 'Em RobotsThese went by the name "Totally Awesome Duelin' Dudes." Although they had...

Roller SkatesAlso available in roller blade form. No one would mess with a kid on these skates,...

Santa Claus StatueThis figurine doubles as a Christmas tree ornament. Santa Raphael would take...

Talking ToothbrushThis brush would say things like "Brush three times a day, and after pizza pie....

TelevisionReleased in conjunction with the DVD player, the TV set has a similar design and texture...
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