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2017 Gift Guide: Some absurdly expensive gifts you'd die to own

Contributed by
Dec 10, 2017

We've all been shopping and seen something cool ... then looked at the price tag and gotten a fresh slap of reality. After picking ourselves up off the floor and double-checking our sparse bank account, we inevitably put the item back on the shelf or close the browser window and tell ourselves, "Someday I'll be able to afford that."

Well, you may not yet be able to afford one of these wicked-cool, absurdly expensive toys, but it doesn't cost anything to look. Maybe looking at these toys for the rich will motivate you to come up with a million-dollar idea ... or motivate you to make a millionaire friend. I've arranged them from the least expensive to most expensive, to ease you into the sticker shock.

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Darth Vader Wood Burning Fire Pit

Darth Vader is a scary, intimidating character. Now imagine Darth Vader with flames coming out of his eyes and you have a scary, intimidating centerpiece for your backyard. That's what you get with this wood burner/fire pit. Of course, Darth Vader seems a little less intimidating when you are roasting marshmallows in his eyes.

$390.25 at Burned By Design

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Harry Potter Final Challenge Chess Set

This isn't just a chess set featuring characters from Harry Potter - this is a replica of the chess board used in Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. It's not life-sized, but at least this one will fit in your living room.

$395 at Noble Collection

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Luke Skywalker's Landspeeder

As a kid, I always wanted a ride-on Power Wheels vehicle. That desire went away once I was old enough to drive an actual car, but this Landspeeder vehicle makes me wish I was small all over agian. It seats two and can reach speeds of up to five miles per hour. And because the environment is important even to Luke, the Landspeeder runs on rechargeable batteries.

$499.99 at Toys r Us

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Bothwell School of Witchcraft

It may not be Hogwarts, but it is pretty close. Your four day enrollment includes magic classes, a formal banquet, being sorted into a house, school robes and costumes, and a stay in a 15th century castle. Cost of admission includes food, board, and robes; everything else comes out of your pocket.

$669 at Bothwell School of Witchcraft

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Hellraiser Pinhead life-size bust

Pinhead is one of the most unique and terrifying villains in all of horror. So it seems fitting that he should have a unique and terrifying life-size bust. Unique, because the detail is incredible and it captures actor Doug Bradley's intensity perfectly. Terrifying, because you could easily poke out an eye on this thing.

$699.99 at Entertainment Earth

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LEGO Millenium Falcon

LEGO has made a few different Millennium Falcon models over the years, but none quite as big as this one. At over 7,500 pieces, it is the largest LEGO set ever made, and includes classic minifigs as well as new trilogy minifigs, allowing you to decide which trilogy you are playing as. In fact, it is so big, despite its equally massive price tag, LEGO is having a hard time keeping them in stock. 

$799.99 at LEGO

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Stained Glass Terminator T-800 picture

The Terminator never looks more ghastly than when done in fiery stained glass. Made of qualitative opal glass and 500 individual pieces, this is perfect for your Church of the Terminator.

$4,200 at Etsy

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Predator Nesting Doll Set

Created by artist Andy Stattmiller, this set of 10 nesting dolls are painted to represent the characters of Predator - all nestled snugly in the belly of the Predator himself. Just remember, this isn't a toy - it's a work of art.

$7,000 at Gallery 1988

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Zoltar the Fortune Teller

Apparently these Zoltar machines were all over arcades in the 1980s, but what I remember it most from is Big, the Tom Hanks movie in which a child wishes to be, well, big. Zoltar grants his wish, and heartwarming comedy ensues. There is no guarantee that this Zoltar machine will grant your wish, but it will certainly be a point of conversation.

$9,000 at Hammacher

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Wizard of Oz Pinball Machine

Designed and created to celebrate the 75th anniversary of MGM's The Wizard of Oz, this pinball machine was created with the "collective effort of the pinball industry's most creative talents." Some of the features include Dorothy's spinning farmhouse beside a molded 3D twister; a winged monkey that steals your balls; and a melting version of the Wicked Witch of the West.

$9,500 at Hammacher

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Remote Controlled Robby the Robot from Forbidden Planet

This robot wasn't screen-used, but it was made from the same blueprints, molds, and templates as the original movie costume. You can't wear this robot, but it comes with a remote control, allowing you to control his gyro stabilizers and scanners and other moving parts, as well as program him to speak. You can even speak through him. That ought to scare your kids into bed.

$32,000 at Hammacher

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Life-sized Tyrannosaurus Rex Skeleton

Even if I did have $100,000 to drop on a skeleton, I don't even know where I would put this! At 40 feet long from nose to tail, and standing 15 feet high, this is a replica of a T-Rex found in South Dakota's Black Hills in 1992. His name is Stan, and he can be arranged into any anatomically correct position you wish, making him perfect for that Jurassic Park remake you have been dying to shoot. On the upside, this purchase comes with a "complimentary assembly crew."

$100,000 at Hammacher

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1966 Batmobile Replica #5

The original Batman Batmobile was created for the TV series by George Barris. He created four Batmobiles. Around the same time period, a man named Jim Sermersheim created his own Batmobile based on what he saw in the TV show. Barris didn't like that there was an unauthorized Batmobile driving around - until he saw it. Eventually, Barris acquired the car, approved it as official (making it Batmobile #5), and had it protected by the same design patent that applied to the screen-used Batmobiles. This is that Batmobile.

$250,000 at James Edition