40-foot Voldemort to battle army of Mary Poppins at the Olympics

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Jul 4, 2015, 1:10 PM EDT

Hey, remember that episode of Doctor Who where the Doctor carried the Olympic torch after triumphantly defeating a pencil scribble? Well, the actual opening ceremony for the London Olympics is going to be even weirder.

Yes, it's the crossover event even Tumblr couldn't predict. The organizers of the Olympics in London have decided that, in order to craft an opening ceremony no one will ever forget, they are going to just go with the most insane thing a child's fever dream could possibly imagine.

It's Attack of the (Mary Poppins) Clones meets the Attack of the 50-Foot Woman ... er, 40-foot Voldemort. If you're scratching your head (and who wouldn't, really?), there's an explanation. Sort of.

Apparently, before he-that-shall-not-be-named makes his super-sized appearance, "about 100" children will be wheeled out on hospital beds to perform "a choreographed 'bed dance.'"

Next, huge beds will come out featuring a number of dancing popular children's characters, adding to the bizarre dream ballet.

At this point, old Voldy will turn up on (you guessed it) a bed of his very own alongside "dozens of Dementors streaming into the arena from all directions and scaring the children."

So the Dementors don't get any beds? Not cool, England.

Finally, the gaggle of Poppins will appear from the ceiling (yes, utilizing umbrella travel) to do battle with (and ultimately defeat) the evil that is Voldemort.

The whole opening ceremony is still enveloped in some secrecy, so don't go thinking you know it all. Plenty of surprises still in store. Fingers crossed for an enormous spoon full of sugar going toe to toe with Dick Van Dyke dressed as a chimney-sweeping Dalek, though.

(via gawker)