We're less than 100 days away until Thor's back on the big screen in Thor: Ragnarok, and way more than that til the next Avengers team up. But for some of us, all that downtime between the next sighting of the mighty Asgardian can be agonizing. That's why I'm officially lobbying for Thor to be in every movie from now on.
In fact, I love Thor so much I've been fantasizing about how good past movies would have been if they'd just managed to include him. It would be amazing and to prove my point, here are five movie posters from films that would be absolutely brilliant if Thor had been included from the outset.
1. The Hea-thors.
High school student Veronica is having a hard time fitting in. All that changes when Thor shows up and the two become friends. Suddenly, instead of being on the outside looking in, Veronica finds herself a part of the cool kid's group, led by Thor. Slumber parties ensue with everyone taking turns trying to pick up Mjölnir and trying out new French braid styles on Thor’s glorious golden locks.
2. The Thor-se Whisperer
Teenager Grace is traumatized when her good friend and mentor Thor is injured in a riding accident. It doesn’t take long for Grace’s mother Annie to realize Grace won’t fully recover until Thor does. Annie takes them both to a secluded Montana ranch where legendary “Thor Whisperer” Tom Booker begins the long process of helping to return Thor to full strength. As the two heal, Annie begins to question her marriage and her career as she struggles with a heartbreaking longing to move the entire family to Asgard.
3. War Thor-se
Joey, a highly trained equine warrior, is separated from his beloved owner, Thor, during World War I. Using his cunning horse-sense and his deeply ingrained ninja skills, Joey undertakes a journey full of danger, excitement, and jaw dropping special effects as he traverses the battlefields of Europe on a quest to find Thor.
Directed by Michael Bay.
4. Zero Dark Thor-ty
Life will never be the same for Thor following the loss of his beloved Mjölnir during a freak accident involving Loki, a temporal time shift, and a loveable but troubled young orphan nick-named Smudge.
For ten years Thor has searched for Mjölnir, a quest which eventually sucks in the resources and attention of not one, but two U.S. presidential administrations. Ultimately, it is the work of a dedicated female operative that proves instrumental in finally locating Mjölnir. In May 2011, Navy SEALs launch a nighttime strike, retrieving Mjölnir in a hidden compound run by Taneleer Tivan.
5. Star Thors (The Thors Awaken)
This movie really has nothing to do with stars or the galaxy or anything you see on the poster. It’s literally 120 minutes of scene after scene of Thor waking up in the morning and getting ready for his day. So kinda like Groundhog Day, but in space.
Okay, I know I said we were only doing five movies that would be better with Thor in them, but when we were kicking around ideas, this one kept coming up. Unfortunately, the execution left a bit to be desired and has managed to turn a sweetly heartwarming tale into something more akin to a horror film.
Regardless, I felt, since there was an inordinate amount of time spent on this graphic that it should be included in our list...if for no reason other than I wish to inflict this monstrosity on as many people as possible.
So without further ado...
6. The Good Dino-Thor