7 reasons you should watch Better Off Ted tonight

Contributed by
Dec 14, 2012, 4:09 PM EST

Did you miss Better Off Ted last spring? Then you missed killer pumpkins, motion detectors that can't see black people, a company that decides to cryogenically freeze one of its scientists, meatless beef and Medieval Fight Club. Luckily, the goofiest spoof on working for corporate America ever is back tonight on ABC for a second season, starting at 9:30 p.m. ET/PT.

Taye Diggs (Day Break) guest-stars in tonight's season-two premiere, "Love Blurts." When Veridian Dynamics plays matchmaker for its employees with a new genetic compatibility program, Linda and Ted meet their perfect matches. Meanwhile, Veronica discovers Lem is her perfect match, which leads her to insist on getting a sperm donation from him.

Here are 7 reasons why you won't want to miss Better Off Ted tonight—or any other Tuesday night:

1. Ludicrous, bizarre and hysterical science gone wrong

Yes, there's fun and games in the office, but it's the heartless corporate science gone bad that hits our funny bone. The series goes from killer pumpkins to perfume that attracts hornets to hair that will grow on anything to solar-powered ovens that release toxins when exposed to sunlight to an ultra-sonic transmitter that makes people vomit. The Syfy Saturday night people should be taking notes. There's movies here waiting to happen!

2. Lem and Phil are us

Malcolm Barrett (Lem) and Jonathan Slavin (Phil) alone are worth tuning in for. They are our people, and not just because they dress up for Medieval Fight Club! Lem is barely able to stand up for himself, even when the company installs new motion detectors that can't detect black people and the company has to hire a white guy to follow him around. One black employee likes the situation and tells Lem, "We all get our own free white guy. ... Maybe you're just not using yours right." As for Phil, well, in the pilot he lets Veridian Dynamics freeze him just to see if they can. Of course, he was actually only frozen three days instead of a year, because movers dropped him. And except for the periodic screaming, it all worked out okay.

3. Linda/Ted, Veronica/Ted, Linda/Veronica, Rose/Ted

From office romances to co-worker issues to Ted and his sweet little girl Rose, the characters and the actors who play them are perfect. Portia de Rossi's Veronica (yes, Ellen's wife!) is a stitch as the corporate executive who's not above ordering one of her subordinates (Ted) to ask an employee (Phil) to let the company freeze him.

4. Veridian Dynamics commercials

Every episode contains a humorous fake Veridian Dynamics ad, like: "Veridian Dynamics. Mistakes. We all make them. But sometimes mistakes lead to great discoveries. Mistakes are how we learn and how we grow, so we can do amazing things. When you think about it, shouldn't you be thanking us for making mistakes? Veridian Dynamics. We're sorry. You're welcome."

5. Hitting the comic nail on the corporate head

Veridian Dynamics is the flip side of Fringe's Massive Dynamics. It's a lot more fun and just as heartless! From deleting Ted from Veridian's ID systems and refusing to do anything to get his ID back, to dealing with the problem of their motion detectors not seeing black people by hiring white people to follow them around (and then having to hire additional black people, and more white people, and even more black people, and even more white people, etc.), to creating a fake project to keep the company from having to go "green," Veridian Dynamics embraces its motto, "Money Before People."

6. Dialogue

Veronica tells Ted, "We want to make a metal that's as hard as steel and can bounce like rubber ... and is eatable." Ted on being deleted ... "This is ridiculous. Frankly, I don't like not existing." Why Veronica doesn't like the lab ... "It's chilly, the people are odd, and it smells like science." Veronica on, well ... "The Octo-chicken. We had such hopes for that." Linda to Ted on being in charge of the lab, "How do you handle all those scientists with their egos and bickering and full frontal nerdity?" Veronica to the group of black employees in her office complaining because the motion detectors don't recognize them ... "I have a open-door policy to you. Please close it on the way out."

7. It's funny!

Don't believe us? Watch tonight or just check it out on ABC's Web site, where you'll find all 13 episodes from last season.

Are you ready for season two of Better Off Ted?