83 thoughts we had while watching post-apocalyptic kids movie Deep

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Jul 8, 2018, 10:03 AM EDT (Updated)

Each year, the big names in animation battle it out at the box office with their gibbering minions, singing princesses, and quipping cars. Lost too often in the shuffle are smaller, stranger animated movies, like the plucky undersea adventure Deep.

But with a poster that gleefully features its aquatic heroes frolicking through the drowned ruins of New York City, you know FANGRRLS wouldn't miss it.


Sunken skyscrapers, the Brooklyn Bridge covered in kelp, and just in case that's too subtle, a big still flashy sign that reads "Broadway" rots on the ocean floor. Because the greatest adventures come once climate change has washed humans off the face of the planet. Fun!
  1. Deep begins on an Earth overtaken by water, where melting glaciers have not only given way to apocalyptic flooding, but also tumultuous waves and fearsome hurricanes. It's the end of a disaster movie where Chris Evans or Bruce Willis couldn't Michael Bay our way out of extinction. 
  2. "Humans were totally to blame for like everything that happened," chirps a child in voiceover. "They made the whole Earth and sea unlivable. Then they just up and left, and left the whole planet to die." Is this a stealth prequel to Wall-E?
  3. This movie has a blobfish as a character. That's all. Just thought you'd like to know. 


  4. Oh fun! We're taking cues from The Little Mermaid. Deep is the name of the movie's octopus protagonist who lives deep, deep down in an underwater cave under the rule of his stern but loving grandfather, the Kraken.


  5. Like King Triton, the Kraken advises his people don't go chasing waterfalls, please stick to the rivers and sea caves that they're used to. Yet Deep's gonna have it his way, or nothing but all. (But I think he's moving too fast.)
  6. Deep's best friends are a cowardly angler fish named Evo, and a perky prawn called Alice. He shows they are friends by tormenting them, sometimes with gifts like a creepy broken baby doll. 


  7. "I don't just want to be alive, Grampa. I want to feel alive!" Kraken wants Deep to stop sneaking off, and focus on being heir to the throne. But this angst-ridden octopus is all like, "But who cares? No big deal. I want mooooooooooore!" 
  8. Snatching another page from Ariel's book, Deep's room is full of human contraband. His collection seems hipster-inspired: an old typewriter, a shark-bit surfboard, a rusty bicycle. I bet you there's a waterlogged copy of Infinite Jest floating around somewhere.
  9. Look, the writing is lazy and Deep is annoying. But the animators used every color in this box. It's preeeeeeeetty.


  10. Deep is playing with a nuclear warhead. Don't try this at home, kids!

  11. Seriously, don't try this at home.

  12. The warhead has set off an underwater volcano, spewing lava that traps the colony. Their only hope is Deep and his friends finding the Kraken's old pal, "Nathan the white whale," last seen in the City of Men, also known as Manhattan.
  13. Nathan. The whale's name is Nathan. The Kraken is a name of legend and terror. But Nathan's parents were apparently worried about him being made fun of in school. (Because fish, get it!?) 
  14. Hm. Instead of being torn up that his recklessness has maybe doomed everyone he knows to a fiery end, Deep mostly seems stoked he got an excuse to explore the wider world of the Sleeping Giant, the City of Men, and The Wall of Doom. 
  15. One does not simply swim into Wall of Doom, Deep. 


  16. Oh. I guess one does simply swim into the Wall of Doom. I stand corrected. 
  17. Kids will probably like this movie. It has lots of screaming and skeletons. 

  18. So, just when you thought animal bones and the absolute end of human life on Earth were as grim as this movie gets, they go to the sunken remains of the Titanic. 

  19. Is Deep going to find the Heart of the Ocean?


  20. Behold: Norma, "the most glamorous vampire squid in the world."

  21. She is one part Norma Desmond, one part Dracula accent, and one part squid, all parts A VISION. This movie is maybe amazing.
  22. "I AM big. It's the Titanic that got small." A Sunset Boulevard reference? This is definitely amazing. 

  23. Don't worry. There's human remains on this Titanic, because accuracy matters.

  24. Norma is performing her one-woman musical, and this is all I want this movie to be now. Please.

  25. "I have glamour and class, occasional gas, but that is just part of my charm." Same, Norma. Same.
  26. "How do you get to Broadway?" "Practice." Look. I know it's a small point. But Carnegie Hall is just a brisk walk from Broadway. There's no need to mangle this classic joke.
  27. "My fans are fans till the end, which will happen sooner than you think because I WILL DESTROY YOU." I relate to Norma. I'm concerned her sequence is clearly drawing to a close and this movie is clearly not. 
  28. They've abandoned Norma. I hate this movie now.
  29. "Don't you know who you're eating?" "Nah, it takes all the romance out of it." Ugh.

  30. Maura the eel is trying to understand how you expect people to be your friends if you prey on them. This is an alarmingly relevant lesson. I wonder if she swam from Hollywood or Washington, D.C.
  31. "She's got an honest face." "And an unhingeable jaw!" This should be a song number. I'm imagining an sultry '80s rock jam with lots of synth sounds. 
  32. Deep is mocking his friends by yelping, "So tired! So thirsty! WATER WATER!" and laughing at them. I am actively rooting for Maura to swallow his punk ass.
  33. SHE DID IT! She ate them. This movie might be good again. 

  34. Wait. It's not over.
  35. Deep wants to give this predator the benefit of the doubt. Oh, Deep. Why don't you just tell me how this doesn't reflect who she is now or that she was raised in the '60s where eating friends was totally acceptable, or that she's just flirting?
  36. Evo escapes Maura's belly and unprompted bellows, "How dare you blame the victim!? Savage!" This is supposed to be a joke. I think. I don't know that Deep knows how jokes work.
  37. They've been uneaten. There are 55 minutes left.
  38. They've made it to Brooklyn. 

  39. Crabs are doing the thriller dance. No wait, it's a dance-off turned rap battle, but with pop music. And crustaceans. It's a lot.

  40. Rico the mobster crab and Alice the sidekick shrimp are in love now. To be fair, that is how most rap battles conclude. But her "friends" insist she can't have her happily ever after because even though they regularly ignore her, something something teamwork.
  41. "Pure genius… If I hadn't forced you out of your comfort zone, those crabs would never have let us pass. Sometimes you just need a visionary, like yours truly." Deep is truly the Steve Jobs of drowned town Manhattan.

  42. Hey, remember how the Kraken and his followers are all trapped in a lava pit because Deep is super irresponsible? Remember how Deep mocked his friends for wanting to take a break in their days-long journey? Yeah, well now he wants to play in a toy store. So everyone else needs to get off his tentacles about it.

  43. Remember how Deep playing with human tech he didn't understand literally resulted in a nuclear detonation? He doesn't, and has jumped into a drowned subway car, convinced he can operate it.


  44. Don't ask me how in a world without electricity they got a subway car to go runaway UNDERWATER, and I won't ask you to ever watch this. Deal? Deal.
  45. Hello, good looking.

  46. These are toxic waste zombie Piranha fish. They probably exist in the Gowanus right now tbh.
  47. Deep did save his friends from the latest life-threatening mess he created. But he doesn't even break stroke to apologize or recognize his mistakes. This is depressing. Life is full of too many Deeps.
  48. Deep has nearly gotten them killed. Again. For like the third time in five minutes. But he thought it was funny. Of course he did.
  49. Enter obviously sinister characters.

  50. I mean, come on. This dolphin has Steve Buscemi eyes. If that's not a red flag, I don't know what is. 

  51. This movie just keeps doubling down on the bonkers. The penguin leads them all into a spaceship intended to flash freeze marine life and then transport it to a new home planet for the Earth-ruining humans.
  52. I take small comfort in that even this orientation video can't hide that re-colonization is going poorly. Check the monkey squaring off against the skittish lab tech in the background.

  53. Is this a stealth Planet of the Apes spinoff?
  54. This deranged penguin believes if he does as his far-off human overlords command, he'll be "promoted" to human. There's a whole super creepy song number about it: "New human parts, new brains and new hearts, and possibly even some pants!"

  55. I keep forgetting this movie is a musical, that's how spread out its song numbers are. Also how forgettable.
  56. You know how evil this penguin is? He's using high school tools, telling Maura that Deep said she's "dumb as a bag of kelp" and "ugly as a blob fish's bottom." Dang. He's going to get clocked by the lockers right after Drama Club lets out!

  57. "Whatever, Deep." That really should be the title of this movie.
  58. Deep is being lectured for the third time about how selfish and generally horrid he is. He's still not listening, because of course. 
  59. What do you think Norma's up to right now? I miss her.
  60. They found Nathan, and I've just realized something SUPER nerdy. His and the Kraken's designs have been based on the famous "Squid and the whale" exhibition in the American Museum of Natural History!

  61. Maybe they're not fighting? Maybe they're just friends HUGGING!
  62. "All my friends are dead." Nathan must be fun at parties.

  63. We're meant to think the penguin is the villain, because he treats everyone around him like trash, and is only concerned with what he wants. But the only thing setting him apart from Deep is the penguin has a spaceship, and the ability to pull off a song number. 
  64. Deep moans, "I'm no leader, guys. I'm a murderer." I mean... I am on board for this epiphany moment. But Deep, when you're racing against the clock to get off a spaceship before liftoff? NOT the time for this self-flagellating drama.
  65. Alice is calling him out. "You big whiny cephalopod!" And I am HERE for it.
  66. You might think in racing to save the day that Deep has no time to casually body-shame Alice. You'd be wrong.
  67. While electrocuting himself to shut down the ship, Evo says with a lusty groan, "It's NEVER been like this before." And this, my friends, is how you can introduce your children to erotic electrostimulation.

  68. A running gag is that Deep makes dad jokes. And no one thinks they're funny. And that's supposed to be funny. That's Deep
  69. "You're the problem, Deep." Also an acceptable title for this movie.
  70. "Well, we're going to die. If anyone needs me, I'll be jamming my light into random sockets." Big 2017 mood.
  71. I do hope in the future we can make spaceships so easy to operate even a penguin can do it. 
  72. Not enough children's movies have Mexican standoffs.

  73. Or is it a stealth Snowpiercer sequel?

  74. Let me get this straight, a single button on this spaceship frees every collected specimen to be dumped out en masse? Actually, I do find it totally feasible that a human manufactured something that absurd. Carry on. 

  75. "I caused all of this," Deep laments before risking his own hide to save the day.
  76. "And I'm going to fix it." Well, that took AGES. 


  77. They think Deep is dead, and his grandfather mourns by saying, "Oh my dear, little reckless boy." Kraken don't sugar coat.

  78. Deep is alive and somehow he just invented democracy. I'm very confused.
  79. "How will you all fit on the throne?" "We'll crowd. Alice will diet." Had to get in one last dig, didn't you, you nasty little cephalopod? Well, at least Deep is the last of his species. The world truly is saved. 

  80. Okay, Nathan and Kraken run off together. I ship it.
  81. Also, apparently Kraken once saved Nathan from Godzilla and Mothra. No big deal. Just a "weird summer."

  82. Remember how Alice fell for Rico but had to leave him behind because of her dumb, selfish friends? She doesn't! 
  83. Deep got a girlfriend. Well, shit. There goes the planet. 

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