Every year, it seems like The Purge season starts earlier and earlier, but it's so hard to get ready! Normally I'm fully stocked by the time Starbucks puts out their seasonal blood-red Purge cups, but this year, I'm a little late to the game. Between work, kids and living my best life as a woman on the go, it can be difficult to work Purge preparation into my busy life. But thanks to the new Purge City store in San Diego, Purging is a breeze! I mean, not the Purging part. That's a bit of a workout (gotta get in our cardio, amirite ladies?!) but Purge City makes your Purge prep as easy as murdering someone in the street just to watch them die!
Here are some of our best FANGRRL tips for surviving — and thriving! — during The Purge.
Pick your look
Are you more patriotic strobe light? Or shiny knightface? At the Purge, you can be whatever you want! Me, I'm aggressive Ewok. Not only does the mask convey the exact level of nightmare bear I want my victims to see before their untimely ends, but it keeps my face nice and warm. Cozy!
Keep it clean
We've all been there. You get your hair done, paint your nails, put on your best murderbear mask, feel like the prettiest Purger and then you get grody victim blood all over your favorite top. Ew! Luckily, Purge City has everything you need. And, trust us, you want to stock up on cleaning products before you need them—the last thing you want is to be soaked in blood, running through the grocery store fighting off the looters who already took all the good stuff. What a hassle!
Make a date of it
It can be so hard to find time for yourselves in a marriage. When the opportunity presents itself, make it romantic! Have a nice dinner, light some candles, throw those candles at people and kick them in the face. A couple that purges together stays together.
But sometimes it's the little things. Like remembering to pick up a card to let your loved one know you're thinking of them, that they matter, that they're the only one you want to Purge with. Throw in some flowers and a fresh machete and you've got the makings of the most romantic Purge!
Stay energized and hydrated
A huge part of self-care is drinking water and a huge part of the Purge is taking care enough of yourself that you are able to Purge safely and properly. If you can't love yourself, how the hell you gonna kill anybody else, can I get an amen? So be sure to keep hydrated and if you need a boost of energy, down a Purge Energy Drink. BDE stands for Big Drink Energy! Ha! It helps you murder people.
Don't forget Fido!
He's a good boy and a constant companion, by your side to lick your wounds. And you have so many wounds. Keep him safe too with Purge City's bulletproof vests for puppyfriends!
Make sure you have supplies
Supplies like candles, duct tape and all the other things to keep your home and Purge activities in working order, but also...
That means party supplies!
After all, it's a holiday! Party like it's 1999, meaning how we all thought we were going to die because of Y2K.
By following these simple tips, you too can have the best Purge ever!
Experience Purge City at San Diego Comic-Con. The Purge debuts on USA Sept. 4.