A Reddit post from July 2016 started making the rounds again today, featuring possibly the world's most understanding wife.
Redditor James ("Addicted Popper" per the contract) was so deep into his Funko Pop! abuse that his wife Amanda ("Concerned Wife") drafted a contract for the two to sign. And our girl Amanda thought of everything.
"As of August 1st, James shall only be allotted $30 per week on purchasing Funko Pops." That means every month, James was allotted $120 (except for the months with five Fridays in which he got $150) for the purchase of Funko Pop! figures, in addition to the special circumstances like Comic-Cons or special releases AND allowing for extra funds if he sells existing possessions, as well as the understanding that leftover funds will go to an "emergency pop fund."
This may all sound like actual madness. Clearly his issue can't be that bad and this is all just a fun joke. That's what I thought until I saw that he posted on Reddit just two days ago that he has spent $36,890 on Pop! figures. THAT'S SO MANY DOLLARS ON SO MANY FIGURES. Do you know what $36,890 can get you?
- A tiny house
- 7,378 $5 footlongs from Subway
- Almost 84,000 Ferrero Rochers if you spend it all on the three-packs (it wouldn't be especially cost-effective though because they sell bigger sizes, but you spent $36,890 on dolls, you're not great with money anyway)
- One night at this insane resort (who needs a glass-bottom lap pool above your bathtub?)
- Christopher Plummer's decapitated head from Dracula 2000 and still have over $33,000 left
- A baby name (not even the baby, just the name)
- A tour of Bill Gates's house
- A lock of John Lennon's hair
- Most of the stuff on our Gift Guide probably excluding the fictitious stuff but who knows
- A quarter
OK so maybe the Funko thing isn't that bad.
With Valentine's Day but a month away, we must celebrate James and Amanda. For theirs is the purest, most understanding love on the planet, as well as #couplesgoals since some of the members of Team Fangrrls are frankly not that far behind James. Theirs is a love that could conceivably be crushed to death by a thousand big-headed doll boxes if there's any kind of earthquake or fault line issue, but love even so.